Mark and Sue's Big Adventure

Wedding Plans

2007-08-12T08:32:00.000Z

26th June - 6 weeks to go.

Things are a bit hectic here, Katie is building up to a crescendo, every weekend there seems to be at least one crisis. Who's coming to the Hen night in London on the 'Disco Decker'? It travels round the clubs in London, picking up and dropping off in Picaddily. Sue is going - go Sue! The latest plan is for Katie and Dan to go over to France for the day to get wine and Champagne.

Katie and Sue have just spent a Mother and daughter weekend at a place called Henlow Grange which is a health Spa. "What advice can you give me for married life mum?" Hmm "Be good to your husband? (No), "Make sure there is a hot meal on the table when he gets home?" (No) "Remember that the most important thing in your life is him?" (No).... after careful consideration Sue said, "Don't take any crap".

Dan, Ben and I have been liaising over the speeches and I am already starting to get an attack of the butterflies.

Dad's get left out when it comes to arranging weddings. All I have to do is knock on the door at 11.45 to collect Katie from her room and then walk her down the aisle. After that I have to give a speech and that's me done. My suit has been picked by Dan, the venue, food wine etc. are all someone else's responsibility but I have arranged the music - 'The Harvs' and 'GR8'. The corkage is £7 a bottle for wine, £9 a bottle for champagne and £50 for a keg of beer, what a rip!

28th July (2 weeks to go)

Dan and Katie arrive after we have done breakfasts and rooms. They want to show us what they have been buying for people at the wedding, little trinkets for the children and presents for the bridesmaids, ushers and best man. The engagement ring has been cleaned and re-sized and Dan has some new Hudson shoes - very nice too. Apparently the forecast is good for the beginning of August, good!
No time to go to France for the wine so we ordered wine and Champagne from Tescos online - to be delivered the day before the wedding, a bit dodgy I thought but apparently it's guaranteed!

I have done a powerpoint presentation to loop on a projector in the marquee, not bad I think. It shows the story of Katie learning to be a good housewife, meeting the man of her dreams and preparing for the big day.

Final preparations

Katie and Dan arrived back in Lowestoft on Thursday 9th. Dan's Nan's funeral was on that day so they had a quick shower and away they went. The last couple of weeks had seen Dan's Nan slowly deteriorating, a sad time for him and his family. They got home at about 6pm after a 'fantastic wake' to quote Dan. His Grandad Len had got pretty merry and the family had all had a good time together. They felt it was just what Nan would have wanted and it helped them all to realise that death is inevitable and although it was sad, she had had a good life and they were able to celebrate it.

We went on the beach and launched a huge Thai lantern (We were hoping to let of loads at the wedding but the owners were frightened we would set fire to there crop on the field next door), Katie and Dan made a wish and off it went, disappearing up into the night sky. It was only at that point I realised it looked a bit like a flare and I half expected to see the lifeboat come racing out of the harbour!

We bought Katie a memory chest in Thailand, somewhere to keep all her little keepsakes. Funny to think back to buying it in Ban Tawai last January and then it's journey on the boat all the way over here. After Katie opened it Sue decided to sit on it and there was a loud cracking sound! Luckily there was no obvious evidence of damage.

Friday we got all the rooms ready for Katie and Dan's friends, we were full to the gunwales using the floor and even our bed! Sue changed all the beds and put clean bedding in all the rooms and left a message asking them to change them. Of course you can guess what happened - they changed the bed BEFORE they slept in them!

Some of my cousins from Oxford were arriving at the Elms (the wedding venue)in the afternoon so we set off at about 4.00pm with a load of bbq stuff to meet them. Poor old Sue had to go via Tescos because they had messed up our delivery of Champagne and ended up getting caught up in a traffic jam caused by a fatal accident. It was strange to think of the agony one family was going through whilst we were preparing for a big family celebration.

Katie stayed with us for a while but then went off with her bridesmaids to do makeup and drink Champagne. Dan, Ben and the ushers went off to the local pub for a drink and Sue and I retired early - worn out.

The big day

The quick drink at the local turned into a 'lock in'! The landlord finally drove them back at about 2.30 in the morning. A good start to the day. Ben was in a real state and he had to do a speech. He was nervous enough as it was without a giant hangover and I ended up walking him around the grounds at about 11.00, the ceremony was at 12.00 and we weren't in our suits yet. 2 paracetomol plenty of water, cross your fingers and off he went.

My room was just down the hall from Katie's and I wa due to collect her at 11.45. I got ready and then paced around in the lounge area. I could hear doors banging and laughter as the bridesmaids got her ready and then a chorus of "Byes" and off they went.

By then the chauffer had arrived - "Don't worry about the speech, just say the first thng that comes into your head" he said...... "Charley Dimmock!" where did they, I mean that come from?

I wanted some time to gather my thoughts and so I went outside. It was a gorgeous day we were so lucky. Everything seemed very still, waiting like me for the day to start. Time seemed to stop, I was never going to do this again. I was never going to wait to give my daughter away. In fact the whole day was going to be full of things I had never done and would never do again. This was the climax to my sabbatical year and something Katie had been planning and thinking about, certainly for the last two years and probably long before that. What was I going to say to her? How would I react when I saw her? Sue had already told me that she cried when she saw Katie try on her dress and I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Then time started again. This was my moment of the day.

"She is ready for you now" said this nice lady with a walky talky who straightened my buttonhole and gave me a quick check to make sure I was up to scratch. I walked along a corridor towards a corner on my left around which was a set of stairs. I could see the chauffer and photographer waiting.

There she was, my daughter standing on about the third step smiling down at me. She looked radiant, so happy, expectant, beautiful, shy and many other things all at once. I turned and these other people, the photographer, chauffer and walky talky woman were all looking at me. I don't think I said anything, I honestly can't remember. I felt a lump in my throat but I didn't cry. It was like a dream. "Will you stand next to her so we can take some photographs" someone said, and the spell was broken. Sound came flooding in things started to happen.

'Crackle' - "We are ready at this end" came through.
"OK just taking photographs and the she will be leaving"
"We are on our way, repeat on our way - all systems go, 10, 9, ...."
We were ushered into the car, the photographer clicking away. Once inside, the chauffer said "It's still not too late you know I could drive you to London" and started to engage me in a surreal conversation about miles per gallon. I concentrated on Katie, she was blowing air and feeling nervous. Funny but she had been fine until I arrived and now she was full of nerves. I talked about living every moment of the day and then we were there outside the entrance and the bridesmaids were all lined up waiting for us.

There was a brief discussion about who would go first and this strange man, who turned out to be the Registrar gave Katie and I some last minute instructions -

"Take your time walking down the aisle, it will be over soon enough" and the doors opened. The first thing I saw was my brother Nick beaming at us and then all eyes turned to look at Katie and cameras started to click. Katie held my arm and then it was done, I sat down next to Sue and events took over.

The whole day was lovely. Dan got quite emotional during his speech but held himself together well. Ben was great, he started with some silent humour, patting his pockets and then pulling various items out with just the right amount of comic timing. I could hear people whisper "Oh no he can't find the speech" and then they got it and started to laugh and he relaxed.

The music was fantastic - lots of dancing going on and, well everything you would expect from a great night.

Katie spent the whole day smiling and Dan said they felt like royalty.

I was so glad for them, it will go down as a landmark event in our family. People will remember it and talk about it, you can't buy those kinds of memories.

I am glad they wanted to do it and I am even more glad that it came off.

If you want to see more photos go to:

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/katieanddanrose

Lowestoft in July

2007-07-28T16:49:00.000Z

Back in the old routine. My days consist of getting up at about 7.00 laying tables for breakfast, serving breakfast, clearing up the plates, loading the dishwasher, tidying the dining room and kitchen then going upstairs with Sue to clean and change the rooms. we are usually done by 10.30. Then we have breakfast and decide what to do with the day.
Shall we go down town or go to Norwich? Shall I do some jobs - hoover the garage, clean and stain the decking?
At about 12.00 we have lunch and then 10 minutes on the settee (usually nearer half an hour). Then I check emails - nothing usually, play the guitar for a while and plan lots of other crackpot things to do such as:
Buy a bungalow for Dad - this plan almost got to signing point before Sue's 4th sleepless night in a row and the fact that Dad didn't really want to move made me realise it maybe wasn't such a good idea.
Make my own wine again - something I used to do about 30 years ago, I am going to use the bottom of the boiler cupboard as a fermentation area and make a wine storage rack in the garage that has a carpeted top, bottom and sides with a small heater in it to keep the wine warm and dark. It sounds like a bit of a fire hazard and the boiler room will stink.
Sue is making no objections as she is probably counting on this idea going the same way as all the others, but I have bought a book and am on the lookout for a hydrometer to measure the specific gravity. If you take the s.g. at the beginning and end, subtract one form the other and then multiply by 7.4 (I think) you get the % proof.
"It may taste like socks but it's 17% by volume and it only cost 50p a bottle" - bargain.
After this it's time to open a bottle of (bought) wine and think about tea, have a go at the crossword and Soduko maybe go to the pub, maybe see a friend and then bed, usually by 10.00 if we don't go out......
It's funny how now I'm home I can find very little of interest to write about, which is wierd because lots has happened whereas in Thailand nothing much happened. I guess it is just the same old 'same same' to me back here and I don't think anyone will find it interesting.
We did go to the 'Latitude Festival - http://www.latitudefestival.co.uk/home/
It was good fun, we saw a great Poet called Murray Laughlan Young - http://www.murraylachlanyoung.com/
and lounged about listening to some good bands in the Uncut Arena.
I did have an interesting conversation whilst cycling up the pedestrianised high street the other evening on my way to Tescos. It was quiet and another guy was cycling along too.
"This is the way to travel" I said.
"The last time I was on one of those bikes I was in Holland" he replied (I have a 'Giant' in the old sit-up-and-beg style) and so I slowed down to his speed and settled down for a nice chat for the next few minutes before I reached the shop.
"Did you see the arrest on the beach" he said,
"No?!"
"This young lad was giving the police some lip and eventually they got fed up and arrested him, there must have been 50 of them"
Something in the way he said it made me think he was deadly serious and probably anti police
"A bit of an over reaction you think then" I said tentatively
"I suffer from MS" he replied. "The other day I cycled up to O'Reillys (Irish Pub) and laid down in the doorway for a rest because I was tired. Do you know how many police it took to arrest me?:.... thirteen!"
"Well here we are I said, I'm going in here, nice to talk to you."

Import - Export

2007-06-14T05:45:00.000Z

"There's no way you are going to get those on there". The fork lift driver sat in his fork lift looking at me expectantly, a small crowd of truckers that had gathered to see the entertainment shook their heads in wonder at the foolishness of the general public in matters of lifting and volume!

"Well I thought you could put the two big ones in and then stack the others on top?". I knew the size of the crates and had worked out that there was plenty of room. Didn't they know they were dealing with a Physicist, I know all about volume.

There was a sharp intake of breath, "ffff (whilst breathing in), can't do that, it happens all the time, people turn up with these Luton vans and we have to tell them the same thing, you can't use a forklift to stack these boxes - too heavy! We can get three on but not this last one." After a 4 hour drive to a warehouse in the middle of no-where on the south coast I was in no mood for jokes but I really hoped he was.

How did it come to this, it should have been so easy - buy the stuff in Chiang Mai, the shipping company collect it, pack it, ship it to Felixstowe and you pick it up in a hired van. Things are so cheap, surely even with the cost of shipping it's got to be cheaper than buying it at home and we had so much fun buying the stuff.

"I'll have that .... that ..... two of them"
"Look at this Sue!"
"We can furnish a whole room for under £100!"
"Don't worry about the weight the cost is done on volume"
- and the best one
"Oh, My shipping agent will collect it".

Our agent is called Adul, he is about 20 and lives in Chiang Mai near the Night Bazaar. He is a great guy and very helpful. We got to know each other quite well, mainly through email and he supports Liverpool.

Dear Mark and Sue,

The score in Anfield I can not believe it. Liverpool 0 -1 Man Utd(John Osea,90.) We assume the game 90% but can not do the score just nearly but Man Utd got free kick in the last minute and they make score.(T,T)

By the way for the paper lantern I will find and let you know the best price as soon as possible.

Have a good trip in Koh Chang.

Dear Mark and Sue,

How are you ? hope you very well.

I have some question to confirm with you

Please see picture in attachment file and confirm back those picture is your order or not ? due to this package dio not have any paper on it ,so I am not sure that this is belong to your or not ?

Thank a lot for your kindly confirm in advance

(We had never seen these before - what else would arrive in Felixstowe we wondered)

Dear Mark and Sue,

According for your cargo you can stay in our warehouse no problem but in Felixstowe Port you have free time only 3 days.

When your cargo arrive to Felixstowe Port please contact with our agent quickly and do custom clearance with in 3 days if over than 3 days they will have demurrage charge to you per day.

So please feel free to advice if you have any question.

Thank you for your reply.

Best regards
Adul

Dear Mark and Sue,

How are you ? Hope you very well.

I think you very happy for the big match( Liverpool with Man Utd ) but I'am very sad when the game finish.

Where are you now ? Take care.

My uncle and my aunt

Best regards, Adul

Dear Mark

Please see picture of your cargo

So please feel free to advice if you have any question.

Thank you very much

Best regards,
Adul

Dear Mark,

Your cargo is 4 crates please find detail as below.

DESCRIPTION SIZE DIMENSION
Crate No.1 : 0.76 x 2.06 x 0.92 : 1.44 CBM
Crate No.2 : 1.24 x 2.26 x 1.32 : 3.69 CBM
Crate No.3 : 0.76 x 1.37 x 1.25 : 1.30 CBM
Crate No.4 : 1.19 x 2.13 x 0.69 : 1.74 CBM
Total : 8.17 CBM

And vessel schedule please find as below.

FEEDER VESSEL : BANI BHUM V.517S
MOTHER VESSEL : NYK APHRODITE V.29W19
ETD BANGKOK : 14 MAY 2007
ETA FELIXSTOWE : 10 JUNE 2007

So please feel free to advice if you have any question.

Thank you very much

Best regards,
Adul

Dear Mark

Congratulation for Premier League Champion.

Please see the price per CBM as below.

C&F from Chaingmai upto Felixstowe Port,UK.
First CBM : 8,700 BHT.
Next CBM : 4,800 BHT.

Before you leave from Chiangmai you paid the deposit 8,700 BHT.

1) Your cargo 8.17 CBM is : 4800 x 7.17 = 34,416 BHT 2)

Total for your payment is 35,381 BHT

So please feel free to advice if you have any question.

Thank you very much.

Best regards,
Adul

Bloody Hell, 8.17 cubic metres! I had imagined about 3, we had obviously bought more than we thought - 35, 000 baht is about £500, but it is still reasonably cheap (although not quite so 'reasonable' now!).

So, before we left Thailand we understood that we were going to have to pay import duty and VAT and that we had a couple of days to pick the cargo up before they started to charge for storage. I had visions of driving into the port area to a huge warehouse, you know like on the films with rows and rows of boxes piled to the roof and disappearing into the distance. We got back into the UK on 9th May, the shipment left Thailand 10th May and was due to arrive in Felixstowe about 10th June.

I have spent the last four weeks imagining my cargo battling it's way through the world's oceans to my home - round the tip of India, hugging the west coast of India or across the Indian Ocean to the Suez canal (surely not round the 'Cape of Good Hope') through the Med, the up the west coast of Europe, across the Bay of Biscay into the North Sea and the port of Felixstowe, how romantic, how I wish I was doing that journey!

On 1st June we had an email from a shipping company in Felixstowe to tell us our cargo had arrived (already!) in Southampton (where!). We would have to pay extra to get it to Felixstowe by road, neither they nor Adul seemed to think this unusual. Luckily I had 7 days free storage starting from Wednesday 6th June after it had been unloaded, so I decided to get it myself and having checked the dimensions I ordered a suitable van for Monday 11th and arranged for 2 friends to come and help me load up.

On Friday 8th I had an email to say that they couldn't release the cargo without the original 'bill of lading' (whatever that was), a fax or email copy wouldn't do. The document was enroute from Thailand so I had to cancel the van and hope the document arrived soon, the last free day was Tuesday 12th.

Tuesday 12th - no documents, so I rang the shipping company. "Oh yes, we have had a word with the people in Thailand and we have agreed to release the cargo anyway (!!)" I rang the van hire company, yes they had a van available all week. I rang off and rang the shipping company back, the charge per day was £40 but it was 11.00 by then so I decided to go on Wednesday and absorb the extra cost. I rang back the van hire company. "Oh, we have just let the van for tomorrow, will Thursday do?" That would mean an extra £80 so I said I would take it now. It was 11.30, the AA route planner suggested the trip would take 4 hours and the warehouse closed at 16.00.

I zapped down to the hire place on my bike whilst Sue made sandwiches and made sure that a) someone would be there even if I was late and b) they would help me load.

Off I went - M25, no queues, M3 no queues. I watched the time and the mileometer, I was averaging 50 miles an hour and the distance was 226 miles. At five to four I pulled up at a Post Office in the village where the warehouse was. "Oh yes, you turn left just there (pointing) and it is three quarters of a mile down the lane on the left. You go past a farm, down a hill and there it is. " I followed the instructions and at the bottom of the hill looked out for a sign. No sign but a track and at the bottom I could just make out a lorry and a shed. It was a miracle anyone ever found it!

What to do with the last crate? "I'll just have to unload it here and put the stuff on myself. Have you got a hammer and a crowbar I can borrow?"

I got an incredulous look from forklift driver and was that a guffwah I heard from the crowd. They shambled off and I set too.

When I finally broke into the crate I found that verything was individually wrapped and protected by shredded newspaper. It was quite a breezy afternoon so you can imagine the mess. I finally finished and looked round, everyone had gone and the place was locked up except for an old boy hanging around. "I've left a bit of a mess, what do you want me to do with the bits?" "Oh, just leave it there." That was a relief and I hightailed it out of there as quickly as I could before he could change his mind.

I arrived home at about 10.30pm and we unloaded. Luckily the van had a tail lift so all we had to do was drag the crates onto the lift and then lower them into the garage.

Quite a day!

This Import - Export business is not all it's cracked up to be!! Still next time it will be so much easier .......

11th June 2007 - New blog!

2007-06-10T19:55:00.000Z

I have just posted a blog of my time in Prague on a CELTA course. If you are interested go to:

teflpragueseptember2006.blogspot.com

12th June 2007 - A cycle ride in the country and spring cleaning

2007-05-27T12:27:00.000Z

27th May

Seeing lots of family and friends - catching up.

Went into college and everyone seemed pleased to see me which was really nice. There was a buzz about the place and this re-inforced my earlier feeling of renewed enthusiasm, I don't start until 13th August but I want to have some say in what I do next year.

There is a bbq in my Dad's barn tonight for my birthday and Sue and I have been practising a song for months, 'Wish You Were Here' - Pink Floyd, tonight's the night for our debut performance. I know I will sweat buckets and my fingers will feel like fat pork sausages, unfortunately not Segovia's!

30th May

Barn bbq called off due to torrential downpour and flooding, it's great to be back home! Finished up in the pub which was good anyway.

Found a great guitar site - nextlevelguitar.com, I think I might join. I can now mutilate American Pie, Hurt (Johnny Cash) , Drive (Incubus), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) and an Alice in Chains number. Next public performance opportunity will be round a camp fire at Latitude Festival 13th July. I know I am practicing a lot because I can't feel the ends of my fingers on the left hand and they have permanent grooves in them from the strings - is this normal?

4th June

Yesterday we put our bikes on the train from Lowestoft to Haddiscoe and then cycled home through Somerleyton and Oulton Broad - stopping at two pubs and a duck pond (for sandwiches) on the way. It's lovely in the countryside but there is so much traffic, I was alternating between cycling beside Sue and dropping behind to let cars pass. We parked our bikes next to an Aston Martin DB7 in Somerleyton so that when we came out we could walk towards it and bask in the brief moment when the people sitting outside thought it was ours. Inside the pub there were pictures all over the wall of local people who all have something to do with Lord Somerleyton's (or Lordie as they call him!!) estate. There was one lovely old boy holding a pair of shears as though it was a rifle. Last time we were there it was a bit run down but now there are old leather chairs, real ale and wine for sale as well as a posh restaurant.

Today I am spring cleaning the garage. That means getting everything out and hoovering everywhere, I am a bit obssesive like that. It's great because I can put everything in the middle of the garage and then find new places to store everything. That way only I know where anything is and I can justify my existance. Another reason why I am doing it is because I am going to start making wine again so I have to make a warming cupboard with a heater in it to keep the demi-johns in. Sue has banned me from the airing cupboard, remembering the last time I made wine (20 yeras ago). There was a background noise of soft 'plops' from the air locks and the occasional muffled explosion when I got carried away with the sugar and the air lock got blocked- aahh those were the days.

Another project is to make those fire tables I mentioned when we were in Chiang Dao - so much to do. so little time.....

21st May 2007 - Back on the treadmill

2007-05-21T07:04:00.000Z

Well here we are back home. Woolly socks, coal fires and responsibility.

The first morning it was as if we had never cooked breakfast before. We were up before 6 o'clock (jet lag) but were still not organised by 8 and I had forgotten how the microwave worked! Al, who looked after our guest house, did such a good job that we are having to work extra hard to live up to expectations.

"Al gives us our tea after breakfast"
"Al gave us skimmed milk"
"We usually have our milk slightly warmed"
"Hang on a minute while I go and get a piece of paper to write down your varied and unreasonable requests - soused herring?!"

A broken washing machine first day meant I filled one large and 4 small washing machines at the laundrette, I didn't know we owned so many towels.

We are back into the routine again now though and thoughts are turning more and more towards our daughter's wedding on 11th August.

Kate and her partner Dan are going to be coming home pretty well every weekend between now and then. So far we have booked the music - our favourite local band 'The Harvs' and their heavier alter ego 'GR8', 'Del from hell' on the piano and a disco. I think there is going to be time for the ceremony.

I took my son to see Gary Moore (who?) last weekend. My neice's partner Steven won tickets in a competition on 'Planet Rock' (you have to say it with a husky, deep boxing match master of ceremonies type accent - Planet Rrrrock) and then realised he coudn't go, so he thought of me (thanks again Steven). It was at a secret venue in London which turned out to be Bush Hall on Uxbridge Road. Only 100 people and he was great, a virtuoso guitarist - the equivalent of Yehudih Menuhin on violin, you may not like the music but you have to appreciate the skill involved. The concert is being aired on Planet Rock (don't forget the accent) in about 5 weeks time if you are interested.

We had fun getting there. Ben and I were talking so much that we missed the turning to London out of Norwich and only realised when we were 18 miles from Kings Lynn! Luckily we had left plenty of time and we finally arrived in Uxbridge having driven right round the other side of London on the M25. We stopped at a pub,
"Do you know where Bush Hall is?"
"Sorry never heard of it",
"It's on Uxbridge Rd."
"That's a pretty long road have you got the Post Code? ... [looks in A - Z, she was very helpful] That Post Code is for Uxbridge Road, Shepherd's Bush, Central London!!"

We drove back out onto the M25 with a view to getting to the right side of London for driving home and then getting the tube back in. However my neice Karen phoned and pointed out that you can actually still take cars into London and there are parking places so why not drive to the venue? So we did. Drivers are so helpful in London, if you are not sure which lane to be in approaching a roundabout or if you momentarily lose concentration at a set of lights and don't notice that the red light is starting to fade and the green light is getting brighter, they remind you with a little toot on the horn and a friendly gesture to point out the error of your ways, God I've missed this country.

We drove out into the countryside yesterday to a street market in Bungay. We took the back roads and realised again what a beautiful country we live in, fresh green and the smell and promise of spring. Then we walked through Bungay along a street flanked by lovely old terraced houses, a scene that could only be in England - home.

Hang on, what's this? A tent outside a Thai restaurant serving:
Gaeng Kiao Wan (Green Curry),
Gaeng Pet (Red Curry),
Gai Pat Met Ma Muang (Stir Fried Chicken and Cashew Nuts)!!
Ahh those lovely familiar smells and smiley faces,
"Sawasdee Kap",
"Sawasdee Kah" - home!

11th May 2007 - Final Thoughts

2007-05-11T05:28:00.000Z

We left England on October 19 2006. Time seemed to stretch before us .... all the time in the world to experience Thailand at a pace we chose, 30 weeks or 210 days.

Thailand seems like home at the moment.

I am used to the sounds -
Cicadas first thing in the morning and in the evening herald the time to get up and go to bed better than any alarm clock.
Geckos reassure us that they are patroling for mosquitoes.
In the cities the sound of tuk-tuks and dogs are ever present and on the beaches there is the sound of the waves and the long-tail boats - "boat - boat?" "Hat Rin - Hat Rin?" the boat owners ask us if we want to go somewhere.

I am used to the language -
Everywhere you are greeted with a big smile and greeting "Sawasdee Kaa (female) or Sawasdee Kap (male)". Even though I only understand a few words, the constant chatter of Thai around us is familiar now. I am picking up the sing-song nature of the language and can imagine what they are saying without having to know the details (I remember talking to Shaun Wilden, one of my tutors from last September. He has lived in Prague for many years. I asked him if he missed England and he said he had no desire to go back. On visits he finds himself swamped with background noise that he can't shut out. What is this noise? Conversation that he can understand and as a result can't stop listening to!! I wonder if I will experience the same thing).

I am used to the weather -
hot and sunny, hot and cloudy, hot and raining or hot and dark about sums it up.

I am used to the TV -
News, soaps, chat shows, slapstick, monks chanting.
The newscasters are celebrities and appear as guests on chat shows doing the same routine on one station after the other (according to an article in the Bangkok Post).
The soaps involve very young Thai girls and boys falling in and out of love and slapping each other across the face a lot. The moment when they fall in love is highlighted by misty camera shots rotating round the young couple and cartoon love hearts and bluebirds round their heads (I kid you not!).
The slapstick shows involve brilliant sound effects such as the 'boing' of a spring to punctuate a trip over a step and the rising and falling tone of a penny whistle when someone says anything silly. So tacky!
Imagine a whole channel devoted to a fixed camera shot of a monk sitting in the lotus position in his saffron robes chanting for (what seems) hour after hour. It is amazing how often we have seen TV's tuned to this station - is this a comment on their devotion or the quality of the other options!
The newscasters, chat show hosts and even the young teen idols often wear the ubiquitous yellow t-shirt (in honour of the king) which means that they look no different from anyone you may meet on the street. I really like that.
Sport - (football, are there any other sports?) is on ESPN and Star Sports with presenters such as Shebby Singh and Jamie Reeves. Jamie is the man Sue and I love to hate, he appears in an advert on TV trying to get investors to buy land in our country. He stands there like a piece of wood, next to 'Big Ben' and says "Buy UK land - I did". Another advert involves an equally wooden Steve McMahon (ex - Liverpool) and Brian Robson (ex - Man Utd).

Steve McMahon (Macka) is sitting next to Brian Robson (Robbo) on a settee watching TV and sipping a cup of tea (how likely is that!).
Macka - [Staring at television off screen] "Did you buy a PP (Profitable Plot), I did?"
Robbo - [Looking at TV and holding tea cup with little finger sticking up] "Aye Macka, I bought two."
Macka - [Turns to stare at Robbo with astonishment] "You bought two! I ony bought one."
Robbo - [Slowly turns to Macka and winks] "That's why I was Captain." (aarrrggghhh!)

Thai people are much more difficult to understand -
They are instinctively respectful and polite to each other and to us. Only Thais subjected to Western excess are sometimes cynical or impatient. They are very loyal to their King and revere the monks.
Thai teenagers hang around together, listen to rock and blues and wear trendy clothes, but you don't get a feeling of 'clannishness' of 'us and them' as you pass by. They will smile and say hello to us and will play with small children they see.

Thai people can seem childlike, in the sense that they appear to be uncomplicated, open and trusting. I remember sitting at a bar when one of the slap-stick TV shows was on, it seemd to be loosely based around the old 'Generation Game' format. An expert Thai Boxer went through a routine to show off his skills and this was followed by two 'stooges' who tried to do the same but kept falling over (boing) or missing their kick (whistle). The Thai men around me were in hysterics.

Which reminds me, we didn't get to see a Thai Boxing match (Muay Thai). Two people we were talking to went and it involved two rival clubs. They said it was definitely real. One bout stood out to them in which they went through the opening ritual of bowing and praying and then within 5 seconds one had kicked the other in the head and the fight was over. They said he was unconcious before he hit the floor, ouch. Every fight was very vicious, apparently pretty well anything goes, the only thing the ref does is to check at the start that they are wearing a 'box'! I don't think we would have enjoyed it.

However, they come from a culture that is a world away from my own. My Western values sometimes seemed far removed from those of people brought up in the East. During my reading I came across the following idea.

In Philosophy in the 'West' things have been divided into objects (external) and subjects (internal - to do with mind). This has led us to separate the external world (engineering, science etc) and the internal world (art, poetry, faith etc.). The idea that we are separate from the external world means that we may feel we can treat it as something to use and manipulate. It is not 'us', it is there for us, so we use and abuse the world around us. Life is a constant battle with nature, trying to mold it into what we want.

In the East this initial philosophical distinction was not made. Consequently, the distinction between an internal and external world is much more blurred. The Buddha taught that we are not separate from the world, we do not exist as a separate entity, there is no such thing as 'me' (This idea that we don't exist as a separate entity, we won't die because we were never born, is at the root of Buddhism). There is a 'right way' to live and that means being in harmony with the world.

I guess 7 months away has shown me that my home is in England with people who have similar memories and life experiences to me. I am going to miss Thailand but it will always be a place to visit populated by a people I will never really know.

Thailand is a beautiful place and at the moment we both feel we want to come back. I recommend it. It has been everything we could have expected:

Lush vegetation, trees, birds and lovely cool evenings in the hills of North Thailand staying at a place called 'The Nest' at Chang Rai between December and February.
Incredible rock formations and amazingly clear sea water in Krabbi Provence. West Railay was a bit 'trendy' for us - beautiful people and expensive but visually stunning. East Railay was more our sort of place, we stayed at Viewpoint, don't forget to say Hi to Lek at the massage place there.
Lovely beaches and peace and quiet at 'Sawasdee Bungalows' on Kho Chang in the Andaman Sea (not The Gulf of Thailand).
Massage courses, music, meditation, tarot, stacks of interesting people and loads going on at Chiang Mai but don't go there between March and October, the heat is punishing and the air is poor.

I have really enjoyed writing this blog and that discovery has been an important part of this experience, I intend to keep going after all there is a wedding coming up and then the trauma of going back to work.

I have appreciated the time to enjoy whatever I happen to be doing at a particular moment without having to worry about anything else, let me say that again - without having to worry about anything else..... luxury indeed and I acknowledge my good fortune.

We are both determined to avoid the temptation to fill each day with a list of goals that don't leave time for enjoyment because we are always rushing to do the next thing.

We were looking at a motorhome this morning, wondering how much it cost. I think we will go traveling again.

7th May 2007 - The Journey Home

2007-05-10T18:29:00.000Z

Back in Bangkok for 2 days at SUK 11 and then home. We found 'Countly Loads', it was very depressing, full of middle aged Western men and very young Thai girls, we didn't stay long as we didn't want this experience to be our abiding image of Thailand. I don't blame the men or the girls, I just find it sad, it's hard to think what they find to talk about.

We also went to Chatachuk market with a shopping list from the family and to a big 'mall' on the last day where we watched a thriller called 'Shooter'. After the film we went back to the hostel, collected our bags and ordered a taxi. Here he is, we're off!

"500 baht to Suvarabumi Airport, you must be joking!"

We got out onto the pavement, unloading our rucksacks and a suitcase full of purchases from Chatachuck Market even though we were due to check in in 40 minutes. Now we wouldn't have done that when we arrived in Thailand 6 months ago. I casually waved down another taxi and beat him down to 300 baht (a saving of nearly £3) and we loaded our stuff into the boot, secured the lid with the bungy cord and climbed into the back seat.

He roared through the traffic and kangarooed his way along the freeway arriving with minutes to spare.
We checked our stuff in, went through passport control and settled down for the short 3 hour wait for the plane to take off. No internet, no ATM's but a bar that served 'Mojitas' cocktails and accepted debit cards. Sue wandered off to Duty Free and spent £50 on make-up, she was obviously in no hurry to get back to her old life!

The plane was Royal Jordanian, lots of leg room, 2 free drinks (Whisky and American Soda) and plenty of food, which was actually pretty good. There was also a 'Moving Map' so you could watch yourself inch your way across the planet and check on the direction of 'Mecca'. You might think that boring but it was better than anything else that was on.

Eight hours to Amman and then an hour and a half in a queue waiting for a guy to fill in a form so we could stay a further few hours in a transit hotel before re-boarding to fly to Heathrow. The bags flew on ahead so we didn't need to worry about little things like toothbrushes and a change of clothes.

"Do we get a call in the morning/ afternoon/ evening?" I asked the guy at reception. "Yes Sir" which turned out to be arabic for "No chance". We had left Bangkok at 11.45 pm (LT) which was 5.45pm (BST) (I suggested Sue set her watch to BST so we get used to it and maybe suffer less from jet lag). Amman is 2 hours ahead of BST and 4 hours behind Bangkok (with me so far?) so it was about 8.00 am in Bangkok, 4.00 am in Amman and 2.00am on Sue's watch. The plane was due to take off again at blah o'clock in Amman which is 'huh?' o'clock in Bangkok and 'haven't a clue' o'clock on Sue's watch, so we needed a call!

We woke up and watched a film for a while (Something and Mr Brown, with Billy Connelly, very good). "Do you think we should check downstairs, it seems rather late?" So, I went down to Reception, everywhere seemed very quiet. "Ah yes Sir, the bus for flight RJ111 left 10 minutes ago." We made it though with a skimpy 2 hours to spare and eventually boarded. Only five and a half hours to go and we'll be home!!!

"Adam. Adam, sit still, Adam don't play with that, Adam be a good boy, Adam. Adam ......" right behind us and the plane hadn't even taken off! We looked at each other, it was going to be a long flight.

After circling Heathrow for 20 minutes we touched down. Grey sky, 15 degrees and windy. "Good grief there are our bags! 7 months in Thailand and nothing major has gone wrong, I could even lose my passport now and it wouldn't matter." We walked through 'Nothing to Declare' and round a corner, lots of people all waiting for someone, somewhere there are two people waitng for us ......... Kate and Dan ........... there they are!

2nd May 2007 - Sailing

2007-05-01T09:09:00.000Z

I forgot to mention our sailing experience on Kho Phangan.

Sue - "If you want me to try sailing now is your chance."

Cookies Bungalows had a laser dinghy for rent. It was a hot day, the sea was warm and shallow and there was hardly any breeze. Perfect conditions to introduce Sue to sailing, she is scared of boats and water, not as bad as she used to be but still nervous.

I went to ask if we could rent it. "Oh, no wind, cannot." "It's OK" I said, "I can sail and I don't really want wind."

His look said "You don't want wind?!" but he reluctantly helped me to push the dinghy down to the waters edge and launch it. I thought I had better familiarise myself first so off I went on my own. I say off, what I really mean is that I drifted gently out to sea with the occasional puff to whet my interest. I tacked a couple of times, which meant I pushed the sail across and swapped sides. As I was wondering how I was going to get back to the shore (apart from wading - it was that shallow) a breeze sprang up which enabled me to sail back to the beach.

"OK Sue, ready?" She clambered in and off we went. The breeze was getting up a bit more now which meant we got a bit of a move on, perfect. The sound of rushing water and an exhilerating sensation of speed. I think she was quite enjoying it and I was having visions of buying a boat when we got home and going sailing together.

Did I mention the water was shallow? The only trouble with shallow water is ........... BANG! The centre board hit a rock. The only trouble with hitting rocks is that the braking distance is zero.
Sue was catapulted forwards and I just managed to hang on to the tiller and sail sheet. "Don't worry Sue, everything is under control, we just hit a rock. No problem I'll just lift the centre board ... there we go we're off again". I managed to say all this in a very calm voice and Sue's look of panic slowly faded as we sailed off. I handled that well I thought, maybe Sue still has confidence in me. "We'll just go out a bit further away from these...." BANG.

Sue, who had just settled down again, was once more catapulted into the front of the dinghy which heeled over at an alarming angle and then turned into the wind, sails flapping. Once more I struggled to lift the centre board which was a bit jammed this time, but I managed and eventually we were off again. "Can we go in now?" Sue's first words since we left dry land. "Yes of course, sorry about this but usually the water is deeper when you go sailing." "Yes, I can see how much fun it is but can we go in now, my leg is a bit bruised." "OK, ready about (sailing term for 'duck or the boom will knock your head off')." I tacked and we headed in. The wind caught the sails and we surged forward......

BANG!!

28th April 2007 - An English couple abroad

2007-04-28T07:41:00.000Z

We met a couple from England and spent a few pleasant evenings 'decompressing' for when we get home.

Sean is an Inheritance Tax expert and I may be giving away some Civil Service secrets but they have a new tool in the war against tax evasion ...... it's called a 'Goofatron'. Apparently we all have one of these Goofatrons but are unaware of it's powers, we merely use it to send emails and other new fangled activities. He is a traditionalist and prefers the old fashioned 'informer network' that requires daily undercover meetings at the local pub.

His wife Joy (a very apt name), who works for the NHS Service (private joke), introduced and runs a scheme in the North of England co-ordinating a support network available to children. A very important job for a former self confessed 'wild child'! (I wasn't going to mention her name in case they all think she is normal, but I realise they won't be under any illusions on that score).

They were good fun. Every restaurant or pub we went to Sean was asking how much little things cost, ash trays, beer coolers etc. He said he was hoping to buy souvenirs but I reckon he was assessing their worth for tax reasons.

It's funny to talk to people who are on holiday for a normal period of time and talk about normal (well mainly normal) things, rather than back-packers who are opting out for a while.

They are off to Japan to see their son who they haven't seen for 15 months, and we think we've been away a long time.

22nd April 2007 - Ao Nang in Krabbi.

2007-04-20T11:29:00.000Z

It is getting hot and sticky here now. Sue and I have come to an unspoken agreement that air conditioning has moved to the top of our list of priorities when looking for a room. (Sorry all you hardened backpackers but we are in our 50's you know!)

I had a shave the other day in a barbers, he hesitated when I asked him to do it and I should have taken that as a warning. I had visions of laying back in the chair, like they do in Saville Row and thinking about weighty matters of 'the city' whilst my personal barber prepared me for the day (a little something for the weekend sir?).

He laid me back applied the cream and then reached for his 'cut throat razor'. "Which way is the market going to move today?" I thought "Shall I invest more in my hedge fund? Maybe a new pair of clippers, or even a Black and Decker". It moved towards me and I noticed his hand was shaking violently and he looked very nervous. I instantly thought of the other scenario involving barbers and cut throat razors (no not Sweeney Todd), the Western where the hero is a notorious gun-slinger and the barber is ordered to carry on shaving him even though a posse of bandits is heading into town to kill him. My hand tightened on my six-gun (aka the arm of the chair) under the smock. He moved in under my nose and nicked me on his first pass. This did nothing to calm his (or my) nerves as he applied wads of cotton wool and other ointments to stem the flow. He reached for the cut throat and moved in again, do I try to help by pulling the same faces as when I am shaving myself (will this just frighten him?) or do I just let my face go loose and let him pull my skin about? Will I look good in the city with bits of cotton wool stuck all over my face? Amazingly we both survived the experience more or less intact and I could tick another experience off my list.

Thais have a real problem with r's. You take your dirty washing to the 'Laundly' and go and listen to music at 'Lockies' bar. (Actually they will often really try to get the 'r' so it is not uncommon to find yourself at the 'Rrraundly'). There is live music every night at 'Lockies' and we went there with our friends from England, Peter and Elaine, they recommended it as an 'experience' not to be missed. How can you play every night for goodness knows how long and be so awful? I don't think the lead guitarist would have known a beat if it hit him continuously in a rhythmic fashion. "You think that's bad" they said, "Try 'Countly Loads'" - a bar on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok, quite near to 'Cabbages and Condoms' - watch this space!

Our daughter and her partner are running in the London marathon and we have just spent a fruitless hour or so trying to see it over the internet. We would be fine if we were in the UK, the USA or Canada - oh well. Apparently it is going to be the hottest marathon so far. We are both very proud - they get a medal if they do it in less than 8 hours!

They did it! We spoke to them on the phone afterwards and Kate said " I am never running anywhere ever again" I think she meant it too. Dan is a teacher and a great motivator (Come on Kate only another 20 miles to go!). It was a great effort, well done!

With 2 weeks to go we feel like we are on holiday. Staying in a hotel at greatly reduced rates and with 10% occupancy we have our own private pool. Sue is concentrating on her tan and I am reading and trying to sun-bathe but my heart's not in it. What am I going to do when I get home!? It's going to be freezing cold and I won't be able to live with the pace of life. Here I have all day to make a decision and I can concentrate on one thing at a time, at home I know I am going to have to make instant decisions. "Do you want tea or coffee?" "erm....." "Come on I haven't got all day!"

14th April 2007 - Koh Phi Phi

2007-04-17T07:17:00.000Z

Alone again.

We caught the bus from Suratthani to Krabi and spent one night there. A pizzeria called 'Bolero' had a live band from 9.30 - 12.30 playing all the old rock favourites, Pink Floyd, Dire Straits, The Beatles etc - just like being at home.

The next morning we caught the ferry to Koh Pi Pi which boasts the famous beach (Maya lagoon) from the film 'The Beach'. Pi Pi has a strange immigration policy - they normally only allow people in between the ages of 20 and 30 (or so it seemed to us). We were met off the ferry by a very eager young Thai boy (about 10 years old) with a trolley for our bags. He loaded up and off we went to our resort - 'Tropical Gardens Bungalows'. We wound through very narrow streets lined with bars, clubs, internet cafes, dive centres, restaurants, bars, clubs, dive centres ....... pharmacies (pregnancy tests, sunburn treatments, HIV tests), mini-marts, bars, restaurants, stalls selling necklaces, massage parlours, tattoo studios...

Talking about tattoos, I saw the 'Clockwork Orange' logo - on somebody's back and then I saw someone the next day in Krabbi wearing a 'Clockwork Orange' tee-shirt?! (I must have seen that film about half a dozen times when it came out in the 70's)

We left the narrow streets behind and entered, what can only be described as a shanty town.

Actually the hut was OK but we were only there one night before moving to a much nicer (more expensive) bungalow on a street that connects the two beaches on Pi Pi (the narrow point in the photo).

One day we paid 200 baht each to sit by a pool (situated on the beach) and watch a group of young males on one side of the pool 'displaying' to a group of females on the other side, all to the gentle refrain of club music. I think the sun had got to us, why were we there? What made us do it?

We didn't get to see 'The Beach' it would have been too busy. I would rather continue to imagine it's beauty in much the same why as I continually tried to imagine how Pi Pi must have looked before the tourist invasion. The water was fantastically clear and warm and the exclusive areas around resorts like 'Pi Pi Natural' are probably stunning but they were way outside our budget.

The high point of the trip there was witnessing Manchester United thrash Roma 7 - 1 in the quarter finals of the 'Champions League' and - oh yes - Songkran.

Songkran (The Thai New Year) is marked by smearing a little paste on each cheek (face) and splashing a little water on your back whilst wishing you a happy new year, another very sweet Thai custom. Then you leave the haven of your bungalow and your Thai hosts and venture down the narrow streets to find somewhere for breakfast. "Has it been raining, there seems to be water everywhere and those people walking towards us carrying those large toy ray guns are soaked?!" It seemed that Songkran is actually more to do with staging a mass water fight and everyone was free to join in, you didn't even need to be invited. I found a spare utensil and waded in whilst Sue made little girlie noises and hid in a convenient bar. Then we spent a happy 2 hours sitting in this particular bar watching the festivities. There was someone upstairs (who we never saw, but I guess was male) and every time anyone who was relatively dry (and female and young) passed by they had what must have been a dustbin full of water thrown down onto them. After a while they became really accurate and we enjoyed guessing who the next victim was going to be and then relishing that split second of time when they were walking along, oblivious to the mass of water which seemed to be suspended motionless above their heads. I tried to capture it on film by hitting the button the instant I saw the water appear, but a combination of my aging reaction time and the response time of the digital camera meant that the closest I got was the picture above. Their reactions look pretty slow too!

We were in Pi Pi for 4 nights and for three of those we had thunder storms and rain at night. Great thunderstorms too, I love witnessing the power of nature unleashed like that, it is no wonder that ancient civilizations dreamt up gods like 'Thor' and 'Zeus' and imagined them battling with each other in the heavens. The rain also 'galvanised' (get it?) the local frog/ toad population into a continuous symphony of sound. As they all seemed to live down large open man-holes the result sounded like an amplified, prolonged burp, totally drowning out the cicadas (no mean feat), ah the peace and quiet of a tropical island.

How about this extract from a brochure promoting Aonang beach in Krabi province. '...situated on the breathtaking Aonang beach, whose golden sand is shaded by swaying palm trees as the wind gently whistles through the leaves on another lazy afternoon.' (Isn't the English language wonderful? But so difficult to learn!)

30th March 2007 - The Sanctuary second time around

2007-04-07T06:46:00.001Z

The Sanctuary at Hat Thien on Koh Phangan is just around the bay from Hat Rin, where they have the full moon parties (10 000+ people on a beach drinking and dancing til dawn). We had booked there to celebrate my niece Karen’s birthday, the Sanctuary is her favourite place.

A family of Ghekos behind a picture above our bed. Last time we were at 'The Sanctuary' Sue would have screamed blue murder but after 6 months in Thailand she thought they were great. "They eat all the insects".

Last time I was at the Sanctuary we had just arrived in Thailand. It is full of ‘beautiful people’ but we will fit in better this time. Karen actually looks the part so I felt a bit more accepted – by association.

Karen, looking the part

They may be beautiful but I am older and wiser and more ‘together’ than they are. I have read ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’ and other books about Buddhism, I am happy with myself and my place in the Universe. I don’t have hang ups like them and it will shine through in the way I carry myself. They will be falling over themselves asking me how I do it. “How do you look so calm and say such wise things? We feel so awkward in your presence,” they will say.

But it was me doing the falling over, tripping up steps that they skipped up (actually one or two did trip – over my legs that stuck out at awkward angles when sitting on the floor). Lumping down steps (like an arthritic elephant) that they floated down. Wheezing up steep concrete paths to the bungalows that they ran up (of course, they don’t sweat!). Languidly flowing to their feet after hours sitting cross legged chatting and laughing gaily as they went down to the edge of the sea to show each other their yoga moves. I too sat down for hours but what they didn’t know was that the last most of that time was spent desperately trying to persuade my legs to unbend a bit and then waiting for an opportunity to launch myself into a standing position whilst no-one was watching.

Maybe they do have hangups, perhaps they looked at each other and thought how gracefully everyone else moved. Maybe they looked at me and thought “how gracefully all these others move, but at least I look better than that old boy in the hammock”. I say the old boy in the hammock because I was in there for ages.

I managed to get into this hammock right in the middle of the communal ‘exhibition’ area, quite well I thought. I didn’t fall out and I fancied I looked as though I was always getting into hammocks. I wasn’t quite so confident about getting out though. The hammock was above a rock which had wooden decking on one side where lots of people were discussing bowels or something and a beach on the other side where more people were sunbathing with little tiny bits of cloth almost covering them. I really couldn’t see me getting out without drawing attention to myself so I thought it best to just stay put …. ! The hammock was one of three arranged in a triangle around the rock and there was a girl in one of them. I was just going to speak to her when she lifted her leg right back until her knee was level with her ear, I don’t know about you but I found this rather intimidating, if not downright disturbing, so I changed my mind – probably just as well.

When Peter and Elaine arrived we all decided to go to Hat Rin for the eveing to check out the bars and restaurants. We ate at a Tapas bar called 'Nicks' (after the owners's son - actually we have come across this before, 'Hopf' in Chiang Mai, 'Cabbages' in Bangkok) and then went off to explore. We listened to a very loud rock band in one bar and quickly moved on to a bar I had spotted, playing Blues music. They lit it with 'UV' lights and then supplied pots of flourescent paint and paint brushes. There was graffiti everywhere and we added our own. 'Lowestoft - UK' and 'Dude'. At about 11.00 everyone except me and Billy decided to head off and find a boat to take us back to The Sanctuary.

I had to stay to look after Billy, who had passed the point of no return.

Just when we had resigned ourselves to the adventure of a night on the beach they came back. They couldn't find a boat and thought that if we all went, 6 of us might stand a better chance of getting someone to take us. This was the night before the full moon party and when we got down to the beach there was a full scale dress rehearsal going on. Loud music, bright lights an (almost) full moon and a beach full of people more inebriated even than Billy. We stood about near the only boat and eventually someone came over. He would take us but it would be expensive. "How much?" A long pause ( we were expecting up to 1000 baht each and would probably have paid it) "200 baht each". We tried hard to look as though it was a bit expensive, the normal price is 150 baht. "Oh alright then".

In we all got, it was way past midnight and we drifted out to sea with the waves lapping, the music pounding and the lights stretching across the bay. The lapping turned into ripples and then into waves and still he hadn't managed to get the engine going (after an initial burst to get us away from safety). The waves rocked the boat from side to side, Karen went unusually quiet and the lights suffused her face with a light green colour. Peter informed us that there was an air lock that needed to be cleared which was why diesel was squirting all over the engine. The smell added to the general ambience, diesel perfume and a not so gentle rocking as we drifted further into the night. Suddenly we were away! Leaping across one wave and pounding into the next one we made our way to 'Sanctuary'.

If I just undo this nut .....

28th March 2007 - A good nights sleep and a Snorkel-tastic time.

2007-04-04T12:41:00.000Z

We had already booked 'The Sanctuary' (That's right! We had been there before, last October!) on Koh Phangan, we were just going over early. So the big adventure merely involved going there to see if they had a room. If they were booked we would ask to leave most of our stuff and go off to explore pastures new.

They did have somewhere. A house, called 'Pond House' which could sleep four, so we didn't have to shoulder our bags and find somewhere else (damn, what a shame). The only problem was that Sue and I were sleeping in the loft, directly above Karen who is a VERY light sleeper. I was a bit worried about having to get up in the night to go to the loo, but Karen was very understanding. "That's OK Mark, just go to the loo before you go to bed and then 'clench'!" Has she no understanding of the workings of aging male bladders? They don't respond to 'clenching', you either don't need to go at all or you need to NOW!

Pond House with the steps to the 'loft' on the left

However, I duly squeezed out my bladder at the appointed hour and we all went to bed. At quarter to twelve I finished reading, "OK Sue? Lights out?" "Yes, OK" I reached for the switch, only to find out that it was a two way switch. One way, it turned our light on and the other way it turned our light off and a very loud disco on. It was a very hot night and there was no air conditioning so all the windows were wide open. Bladders were forgotten (full or empty), all four of us vibrated gently in our beds until six o'clock the next morning when the disco stopped and the cicadas woke up! How stupid of me, why didn't I just turn the light on again!

We all got up at about nine o'clock after a very restful couple of hours sleep and decided to move on and find Billy's paradise beach. We found it at 'Salad Beach Resort' at Had Salad.

Beautiful clear water, air conditioning and a coral reef for snorkeling! The only problem was that you had to wade out two to three hundred yards over coral before the water covered your knees. So Billy and I hired a kayak and we set off, Jacques Clousea and 'Skato'.

Kayaks are brilliant for getting off and snorkeling from but not so good for getting back onto again.

"OK Billy, you go snorkeling and I will stay with the boat for a while"

"Are you ready to get back on the boat?"

"Yep" ...........

"OK Billy, you steady the boat and I'll get back on and then you get back on after me."

"Right Billy, now you get back on" ...........

"OK Billy, you get on the boat first while I steady it then I will get on after you"

"Right, now I will get back on" ...........

"OK, let's both try to get on at the same time" .........

(Starting to get a bit tired now)

"Right, you steady the boat and I will get on and lay crosswise across the boat while you get on"

"OK, Billy, now you get on"

"Good, now I will just sit up" ...........

"Right I will just swim away from these rocks before I try and get on again"

"Err Billy, do you want to just paddle over here and then I will try to get on? No no I'm not tired. I'm fine"

We finally managed to get back on both facing the same way and in a sitting position but minus Billy's headband, my snorkel and Billy's goggles (oh no, we later found billy's goggles). Luckily for us we had decided to paddle round the headland to a different bay before all this happened, so we were spared the derision of Sue and Karen.

That's enough of paradise, on the 28th we set off back to 'The Sanctuary' and party! (It's hard work keeping up with these youngsters)

25th March 2007. Koh Samui, the elusive airport and the case of the disappearing petrol.

2007-04-04T12:36:00.000Z

6 months in Thailand having fun doesn’t prepare you for ‘responsibility’. Karen and her friend Billy were coming over. They were landing in Koh Samui and could we just find them some accommodation? No problem!

We went over early hired a jeep and spent a day combing the island. Too quiet, too noisy, too expensive, too cheap, proper toilet but cold shower, lovely view but what will they do in the evening? We finally settled on a place called ‘Eden’ in a quiet garden but on a road where there were lots of bars and restaurants.

Eden - Karen and Billy's bungalow through the trees.

Eden was in Bo Phut, a quieter bay along from Lamai beach which was very busy. Not much petrol left but enough to get to the airport and pick them up the next day. We set off in the afternoon, well before they were due to land.

“That’s funny the petrol gauge hasn’t moved off red”. 100 yards up the road it started to splutter and we finally coasted to a spot near the main road. What a good job we left early. We walked up the road to a little garage “Hah hah, falang ran out of gasoline?” I bought three bottles of gasoline and borrowed a funnel promising to return the empties and the funnel. Still plenty of time. Unfortunately the arrival of a ferry at ‘Big Buddha’ beach along with major roadworks at the junction outside the ferry port and ‘leaving off time’ resulted in a Thai style traffic jam. By Thai style I mean that it was every man for himself. No sign of a policeman or traffic lights, cars were just all over the place but everyone (apart from me) seemed to be quite laid back about it. Imagine cars converging from three directions onto a junction which had been reduced to half a lane which meant that to turn left you needed to do a three point turn whilst all the cars from the other two directions waited for you! We made it through with less time now to get there, but we should still do it and we would have if….we hadn’t driven straight past the airport! How do you drive past an airport and not notice it? When there are no signs and the airport is just a collection of rickety wooden huts! We eventually realised but by the time we got back Karen and Billy were waiting so our little idea of holding up a notice (like taxi drivers do) at the arrivals gate saying ‘Drug Couriers’ didn’t come off. We drove back, taking our turn to do the three point turn and settled in to ‘Eden’. Next morning I got up early with Sue to return the Jeep whilst Karen and Billy slept.

“That’s funny the petrol gauge hasn’t moved off red”. 100 yards up the road it started to splutter and we finally coasted to exactly the same spot near the main road! How strange I thought, well, at least we know which way to walk. Notice how calmly I accepted this situation, 6 months in Thailand has taught me patience. “Hah, haha hah!! Falang run out of gasoline? Sorry no have, garage run out of gasoline!” Oh, what a lark, Sue was overjoyed. So we walked back (past the jeep) to another little garage bought 2 litres of gasoline and borrowed a funnel which was handily kept on a hook right next to an even handier piece of clear plastic tubing, ideal for siphoning. I expect those cynics amongst you are already way ahead (just like the flat tyre episode) but it wasn’t until that point that I thought, “Some B…… is siphoning my gasoline, in fact I am probably in the process of buying it back!”

2 days in Koh Samui was enough, Billy had visions of laying in a hammock on a deserted beach, so on with the back packs and off to Koh Phangan on the ferry from 'Big Buddha' beach. Nowhere booked but heh, let's just go, it will be an adventure!

(l-r) Billy, Karen, Sue and me.

18th March 2007 - Sue goes 'off on one'

2007-03-21T04:21:00.000Z

RANONG.

Sometimes a little knowledge is dangerous. Our taxi driver, Jao, picked us up to take us to where the minibuses to Surat Thani left. Sue had checked it out in 'Lonely Planet' and discovered it was next to the Post Office. It was a good day to travel, overcast, not too hot and I was chatting to a nice Canadian guy who turned out to be a musician. He and his wife were off to do the same visa run to Burma that we had done the day before.

"That's funny," said Sue, "this isn't the way to the Post Office."
"Oh well, don't worry," I said, "Jao knows what he's doing".

We arrived at the bus station (logical) and there, in the corner on it's own with nobody in it, stood a decrepit old minibus. There was an office and a few Thai people were sitting around nearby.

Sue - "This isn't the Post Office! This can't be the right bus. Bprai sa nii (Yep! We know the Thai for Post Office), take us to bprai sa nii."
Jao - "Post Office closed today (it was a Sunday)."
Sue - "No, no! Rotbus glai (near) bprai sa nii." (The Thai was really coming in handy.)
Jao turned to me and tried to explain that this was the minibus and it left in 15 minutes (8am). I was a bit surprised that it was leaving so soon as it was empty and we were told that they left when full. Then Sue got back into the taxi and sat down next to the Canadan musicians wife (he was just standing around outside smoking a cigarette and taking it all in).
Sue - "I'm not getting out until you take us to the PostOffice. This isn't the right bus, please take us to the Post Office now!"
A few eyebrows were raised at this point. Jao leaned into the taxi, "Mama (it was madam earlier but things were starting to hot up), please come office."
Sue - "No, no! I'm not getting out."
Jao looked at me for help or something.
I peered into the taxi and recognised instantly the 'look' which said, "Don't mess with me."
Mark - "I think he just wants you to talk to someone with good English, dear."
Sue reluctantly got out.
"Yes, yes," said the lady behind the counter, "this is the bus and yes, it leaves in 15 minutes."
Sue - "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure, here are the tickets (waving a pad of tickets about and looking a little irritated), I sell you ticket."
Sue subsided slightly and I bought the tickets.
"Ok!" shouted the lady, and we turned to see all the Thais who had been sitting around piling onto the bus. We followed and got in to be met by a sea of silent faces, wide-eyed all staring at Sue a little nervously. They had left the back seat for us, to keep us as far away from them as possible.
Sue - "You weren't much help."
"Well over the years I have found it best, in situations like that, to just stand back and give you some room."

Off we go, everyone eyes front, avoiding the unpredictable farang in the back.

Off we went (quickly!), the ride was a little bumpy in the back but we made it to Surat Thani in a couple of hours. The driver had obviously done this route so many times that he could overtake without looking and whilst having yet another telephone conversation. He dropped us off right outside the travel agency where Sue had planned for us to buy tickets for the bus and ferry to Ko Samui (Ok, ok Sue it is worth doing some planning ahead). Inside we saw a girl we had been chatting to the evening before. She had caught the 6am bus and had spent a couple of hours hanging around the travel agency. We barely had time to go to the toilet before the bus arrived and we were off. 20 minutes wait for the ferry, straight onto a taxi at the other end and we were at our guest house 7 hours after we left Ranong. The whole thing cost us less than 7 pounds each, Jackson luck again.

17th March 2007 - The 'Burma Run'

2007-03-20T05:04:00.000Z

No not drug running but getting our visas stamped for the last time before we leave Thailand and go home (boo hoo).

We left our island paradise at 7.30am and took the longboat to Ranong, where we were met by 'our driver' Jao. This sweet Canadian girl, Jasmine, was going to do the same thing so we asked her if she wanted to join us. She was coming to the end of a whole years trip away from home and wasn't looking forward to going back.

The whole visa thing is like a well oiled machine. All that was missing after we got off the longboat was the sound of a starting pistol.

1. Taxi to immigration office - visa checked and departure card completed.
2. Outside and given a crisp 10 dollar bill (if the bill is 'bent' the Burmese immigration officers don't take it).
3. Taxi to really run down fishing jetty where lots of young boys on flimsy little boats jostled for position. Jao fended off some young boys who wanted to help us with our rucksacks (a sharp growl and they scurried back into the dickensian shadows to lick there wounds).
The 'artful' led us by hand across boats to one on the outside.
4. Across the river to get petrol.
5. Up river to hut where he grabbed our passports and ran over some other boats and into a little office - back again,"Ok, ok we go now."

Check Point Charlie

6. Across a wide bay to Mayanmar (Burma as was).
7. Another old hut on stilts and 'artful' literally pushed the other boats out of the way and again leapt onto the little 'balcony'. Something was obviously said or signed and we were off again.

Move over!

8. We arrived at Victoria Point, which is a very busy run down port with lots of stalls selling things.
9. We were led off the boat and escorted to the immigration office. A young well dressed man fell in beside me, "Want to buy anything? Cheap beer, cheap cigarettes?" "Sorry no time" I puffed.
10. Immigration office, joined small queue of Farangs to get passport stamped. Crisp 10 dollar note miracoulously disappears.

Burmese immigration, I asked before taking this! In the background is the front of a long queue of locals trying to do the same as us I guess.

11. Back out and off we went to the boat having waved goodbye to Jasmine, who had decided to stay for a while (why?). I noticed the same young man fall in beside me "Papa want anything, Viagra?" Perhaps he thought I needed it.
12. Onto boat, back to Thailand.

Back to Thailand - home again!

"Tip, tip for artful?"He had earned it!
13. Taxi to immigration, 'entry' this time at the same desk but on the left of the 'departure' side that we had just left.
Sue looked at her watch, the whole thing had been done in 1 hour! Phew!!

13th March 2007 - Koh Chang - Paradise

2007-03-13T04:49:00.000Z

Koh Chang is close to Paradise.

We decided to go for a walk the other morning as we were both awake before 7am. We walked along the beach for about 2 Km and then cut inland onto the 'main street' - concrete!

Another 2 Km and we hit the centre - 2 shops and 2 cafes literally in the middle of the island.

By the time we set off back the sun was up and it was getting hot. We arrived at the beach and then decided to take a short detour to the bakers as everyone had said they did great chocolate brownies and real bread!! This involved cutting back inland again but the sign assured us that it was only 100m. We got to a sign but there was no bakery, just a house down a track, we paused (fatally) and a nice helpful Thai said, well actually he went 'Uhh' and pointed further along the path so off we went, deeper and deeper into the 'dark dark wood'.

100m - surely this is beyond even the Thai's estimation I thought, but there was always just another corner to check or just another little hill to climb. By now we were a good 10km into our 'morning stroll' and I had left my compass back at the hut (yes I know it's sad but I always carry a compass to check where the sun is going to be in the morning - a hangover from our caravanning days when looking for the ideal pitch. "The kids are crying, I'm exhausted, we've been travelling all day and you're checking where the sun is going to be in the morning!!!"). Did I say it was getting hot?

OK we had better go back, but which way? The sounds of the jungle pressed in on us, what's that rustling in the leaves? A tiger? A cobra? OK Mark stay calm, think...... I know, turn round through 180 degrees and follow the path back the way we came, of course! What's this coming along the path towards us? No surely not, it can't be...... a jogger in day glo trainers - in this heat, are they mad!

"Excuse me do you know where the bakers is?" - It seemed such a normal question, surely something along the lines of "Water!" or "Paula Radcliffe I presume" would have been more appropriate.

"No sorry, I haven't heard of it" - Aahh, an American, that explains everything.

We retraced our steps back to the original house 100m from the beach which you have already guessed was the Bakers and they did have yummy chocolate brownies and coffee so strong that when we both finally made it back to the hammocks we couldn't sleep but just laid there staring straight up, twitching.

Whilst drinking the coffee I noticed a Thai chap walk past (I don't think it was the same one) with a massive chain saw slung accross his shoulder and an axe attached to his belt. "I bet he is going to cut down a tree" I said , I don't know what made me think it, intuition maybe (earlier we had seen a helicopter circling the island and we had been led to understand that they were looking for illegal logging). Sure enough the tell-tale sound of the chain saw started off just next to us and the next thing we knew this huge tree (well huge-ish) crashed to ground. He got his axe out and started lopping branches (where does that word come from - lopping?), the owners of the baker went to have a chat and came back to say it was the neighbour - he had decided to build a new bungalow. Yawn - "What shall I do today? I know, I'll build a bungalow - there's a handy tree."

Compare this with the prohibative laws in the UK. Planning permission from a corrupt council followed by Building Regulations on the actual construction checked at regular intervals by ardent young 'do-gooders' or cynical 'jobs-worths'. There that's got that off my chest.

We made it back to the bungalow at about 11 o'clock - 4 hours! Nothing had changed, "Is that a hammock I see, is that the sand, is that the beautiful warm sea, is that a bottle of ice-cold beer, is that the book I am reading, is that the bloody soduko I can't do!?"

I was meditating!

27th February - The holiday makers - or 'gropples' if you come from the East of England!

2007-02-27T12:11:00.000Z

We have just enjoyed a week in a hotel with Sue's sister Marilyn and her friend Suzie. Air Conditioning, Swimming Pool, Hot Shower, TV, Football......

Every morning we looked out of our bedroom window and watched truck loads of workers going past to work on the new hotels being built after the Tsunami (we saw one with at least 30 workers standing in the back shoulder to shoulder). The road they travel down is across from a fenced off strip of waste land where you can still see the foundations of buildings that were destroyed.

6000 people died on this particular strip of coast (half the total lost). We saw a sign next to a piece of land further inland that said, 'I can't go on, please buy my land'.

Apparently lots of land was just 'taken over' by big hotels and the workers we saw are not from Thailand but are brought in to work for even less than Thais would be. Nice to know some things never change - greed and exploitation is still alive and well.

However, life goes on and the Thais are as friendly as ever.

We hired a car (oh the luxury) and went across to Phangna and from there on a trip to 'James Bond Island' (The local name for this Island is Kao Pingun which means 'The Island which leans on itself').

"The names Bond - Basildon Bond"

Of course there are lots of people offering trips to this island, how do you think they attract your attention as you drive along the pier in your car? Brightly coloured signs that line the route temping you in? Impressive looking motor boats? Skimpily clad girls (or boys)? Oh no, they are far more pro-active.

The first person to jump out into the road waving bits of paper made me swerve violently to one side to avoid him and to wonder if there was an emergency that needed attending to. But by the time we reached the end of the line I hardly batted an eyelid as one after the other they threw themselves onto the bonnet of the car, cheeks pressed to the windscreen, eyes pleading as they slid slowly down and off the front. I turned slowly at the end of the pier and gunned the engine before driving back, hunched forward, jaw set looking neither to right or left as they scattered in front of me.

We pulled into a restaurant and a very nice young man offered to take us in his longtail boat, which he went off to collect on his motorbike. Is there shade on the boat Suzie wondered? Yes. Do we stop on the way? Yes. Only 1000 baht for the boat and a trip that would last about 3 hours, bargain.

It was a great trip, limestone cliffs and caves, mangrove swamps, sea eagles, monitor lizards and of course James Bond Island itself with the famous rock which was surprisingly small. On the way back we stopped at a muslim village 'on stilts'. The frontage was wall to wall restaurants that all the longtail boats pulled up to. All very slick, but the food was great. Fish, crabs, lobsters and prawns were kept in nets, you got to see the poor things flapping about before they were barbecued and on your table in less than 20 minutes, delicious.

Name that dish!

On the way back we stopped at a Wat and were lucky enough to see two novice monks going through the ordination process. This involves shaving their heads, donning white robes and walking 3 times round the temple with family and friends following a band playing drums and singing and dancing. They then sit with the family for a while chanting and then they walk to the temple steps and throw coins into the crowd as a symbol of giving up all worldly things before family members carry them over the threshold of the temple and they kneel before the Abbot to make their vows. After this they put on the familiar orange robes and live the life of a monk for either a few months or, in some cases, the rest of their lives.

Good luck!

21 February - family visit

2007-02-22T04:37:00.000Z

It is good to be on the move again.

Things are much more expensive down here, 90 baht for a beer and over200 baht for a meal, I mean come on, how are we supposed to survive at those prices. The hotel we are going to is even more expensive, but luckily the room has a fridge so we can go to the local supermarket and stock up on the essentials - beer, Samsung (Local Brandy - 220 baht a bottle), coke etc.

I was sitting in the airport at Bangkok outside the gents loo (waiting for Sue) and watched as a woman walked purposefully towards me and into the gents, I knew she was going to the wrong place but didn't say anything, why? She was obviously a woman (the low cut tee-shirt tended to give the game away) but I daren't say anything just in case she was a he. She soon came out again looking rather embarrased and gave me a dirty look as if to say why didn't you say something! Why didn't I?
Ahh, you have not heard the full story. When we were in Chiang Dao I mentioned we met a couple, Jackie and Jane but I didn't mention my fo-pa (spelling?). Jane detected Sue's Norfolk accent and asked where we were from, when we said Suffolk she said she lived in Sheringham and I said ---- "So you are a good old Norfolk Boy then" we all laughed and then she leant across, patted me on the knee and said "Actually I'm a good old Norfolk girl but don't worry about it, my name is Jayne and this is my partner Jackie". Oh dear. I was totally thrown, not only was I embarassed but I couldn't get my mind to move on from it's 'first impression' which was that Jayne was a man. I couldn't stop thinking in terms of 'he' and very nearly dropped myself in it for a second time which would have been unforgivable.

So you see, my confidence in being able to tell the difference between a man and women has been totally destroyed which meant I couldn't assume the person walking into the toilet was a woman, imagine saying "Excuse me, this is the gents" only to be told in gruff and no uncertain terms "Yes, and your point is?"

We are in Kaoh Lak now on the coast of the Andaman sea, we have been staying in a great bungalow (Poseidon Bungalows) overlooking the sea so we have been going to sleep to the sound of waves lapping on the shore and (unfortunately) cicadas that have ear splitting screeches
that sound like worn wheel bearings and set your teeth on edge, luckily they give up by about 8.00pm.

view from our bungalow at Poseidon

Sue's sister Marilyn and her friend Suzie are here at the moment. It is strange to see familiar faces and talk about familiar things. Our bungalow 'near' where they were staying turned out not to be so near as we thought. We hired a motor bike and set off, after about 15 km we saw a sign saying the hotel was 11 km away but 18 km later we still hadn't seen it so I turned round and set off back. After about 3 km we saw a sign saying the hotel was 11 km away, huh! We carried on and eventually found it. It took 2 hours! Compare that with the flight from Bangkok to Phuket - 1 hour.

Sue, Marilyn and Suzie

I lent Marilyn our camera as they were going elephant trekking (she had brought a nice new camera but neglected to bring a charger) and that day we saw a cormerant chasing fish underwater from the restaurant at Poseiden and then in the evening we saw 3 elephants going for a walk on the beach and chatted with some children at a bar who were all drinking beer and saying "Cho Di" - cheers. No photos, but we may get another opportunity as we intend to go back when Marilyn and Suzie go home.

Marilyn, Suzie and Combi

I have just left the three women shopping (again) and come into an internet cafe. I am going to meet up with them in a bar across the road where Nancy (a boy-girl) is very willing to show you her new breasts. I am not sure the experience will do anything to help my confusion over gender identification. Perhaps it is good for me and will help me not to make any assumptions and to question all my previously held beliefs. That's OK but it does get a bit tiring. "Good evening Sir, can I get you anything?" What does he mean by that? Is the evening good? What does he think I want? Sir?!

Sunset over the Andaman Sea

11th February - last day in Chiang Mai

2007-02-11T06:02:00.000Z

Packed and ready to go down south.

We have just spent two days up in Chiang Dao at a place called 'The Nest' - beautiful. It is run by an Englishman, Stuart and his Thai wife, Wicha. There are about 10 wooden huts and a restaurant surrounded by hills and mountains.

It is a bird watchers paradise, you could hardly move without tripping over huge telescopes on tripods.

We walked up to a Temple and noticed a group of Japanese with their telescopic cameras trained on something just round a corner, so we crept up only to find they were watching a poor monk trying to meditate about 20 yards in front of them, were they trying to see if he had anything interesting stuck between his teeth?!

We climbed the 500 odd steps up to the Chedi at the top. It was so peaceful, just some wind chimes tinkling and a fantastic view. There was nobody about but we both found ourselves walking round on tiptoes and talking in whispers.

A group of Thai school children finally made their way up as far as the temple area below us, making the sort of noise only excited school children can make. We walked down and saw a pile of shoes outside the temple, which was really a cave, but we couldn't hear a sound, they were so quiet.

There was an interesting nature walk too, which was more like a jungle safari up a steep mountain. At one point we had to go under a branch which caused much amusement as Sue tried not to get 'dirty' (I was far too busy taking a photograph to help), we blundered raucously round the corner and came across a 'twitcher' in full 'twitch' peering intently into some bushes, we whispered our apologies and went on our way. Later we talked to him and he told us he had been in that spot for two hours - oops.

Since we have been in Thailand we have been waiting to bump into someone we know, just one of those coincidences that seem to happen. Well we came close - we spent the evenings talking to a couple (Jayne and Jackie) from Sheringham, just up the coast from us who know our friends Debbie and Roy, who live in Cromer!

On the bus journey home, we were stopped at an army checkpoint where they checked documents. Most had ID cards, which made me think of the proposal in our country. I wasn't sure I wanted to carry around an ID card all the time, now I know I don't. It was quite intimidating and I know I would never remember to have it with me. One poor girl, with a baby, produced loads of pieces of paper and it took ages for them to satisfy themselves that these were in order. Sue told me that she had read that some of the Hill Tribe people are not citizens of Thailand even though they may have spent most of their lives in Thailand. They have to apply for visas just like we do, how awful not to belong anywhere. Apparently the 'Karen' (Long Neck) tribe fall into that category. So it's ok to exploit them for the tourist trade but they are not allowed any rights!

30th January - Thoughts on leaving Chiang Mai

2007-01-30T08:07:00.000Z

Only 2 weeks until we leave Chiang Mai. Looking forward to going south to the sea, although we are both sure that when we get there we are going to want to come straight back as it is going to be very hot and very expensive!

I feel I have started to settle into a sort of routine, feeling very much how I might feel if I lived here. I couldn't live in Chiang Mai, after a time you really start to notice the dirt, pollution and poverty everywhere and it starts to get you down.

The people are lovely and deserve better politicians. Chiang Mai is run by the mafia according to an article in the 'Chiang Mai News'.

My masseur Mr Nat has two children, a daughter Meeou (12) and a son Mark (10). He was born in Chiang Mai but moved to Gunthep (Bangkok) and trained as a masseur there. He married and had children but his wife left him and the children. He has brought up both children on his own, how? I am struck dumb with admiration.

l-r: Mr Nat (my hero), Mr Hoo (who started it all) and Mr Mark (trying to look supple).

He wants 'Meeou' to go to the Catholic School and is working all hours to give her extra lessons so she can pass the entrance exam. He is very worried, "The fees are very high but I want her to go there so she can make friends with people from 'better' families who have contacts, so she can get a good job" - it made me feel so depressed and angry at the way we in the West impose our materialistic vision on the world. This from a man who works miracles every day 7 days a week 9am - 10pm (that's 13 hours a day) for 125 baht an hour (I think there is family around to look after the children and they are often at the massage 'parlour' (that just doesn't seem the right word does it?).

On one occasion Sue came to observe, it happened to be quite a painful massage for me, I had just been ill and probably shouldn't have gone. At one point he started to sing quietly, it must have been a traditional Thai song because the others soon joined in. It was very quiet and peaceful for a while, just 3 blind people massaging and singing softly, I could feel myself getting quite emotional.

Mr Nat shouldn't have to worry about money, he is doing something that people really appreciate (all the Westerners love him and heap praise on him "my God I feel so wonderful - thank you") and he has all he wants. If any man I have met has inner peace it is him. When I look around and see the poverty I can understand why he is so desperate for his daughter to 'escape', but it is such a shame. I asked him if he listened to music, he has a cd player and some cds but literally he has no time to listen to them!

It feels like the end of something to me at the moment, we have spent all this time just the two of us and when we move south we will be meeting up with people from home, something we are both really looking forward to but I know that at that point I will have reached the bottom of our dive into the unknown and will be starting the slow decompression process towards the surface and England.

Sue ;- the local (so close!).

99% of the time Sue hasn't got a clue where we are or where we are going, sometimes she is so far out I think she is joking. But, for that other 1% she is in control. We hired bikes from the guest house and went to our favourite internet cafe, a journey we have done pretty well every day for the last 4 weeks. On the way home Sue took the lead. Off she set, back ramrod straight (the bikes are the 'sit up and beg' type) with me a bikes length behind and slightly further out into the road to make cars and motorbikes give her a wide berth, I was reminded of a galleon with it's escort vessel. The pace would best be described as sedate.

Squeak...squeak go the pedals, head held high, snooty looks left and right - Huh, look at him he hasn't got a clue where he is........ Huh, bloody tourists.......Huh, when he's been here as long as I have..... squeak...squeak... left.....squeak..... squeak... right ....surreptitious glance behind to check she is going the right way, she doesn't think I notice but each glance is invariably accompanied by a wobble and as any physicist worth his salt will tell you, the slower you go, the bigger the wobble.

Squeak....squeak.... straight on (she should have gone right and then left if she wanted to follow are usual route) squeak.....squeak.......more anxious glances from left to right, squeak ...... squeeek ...... squeeeeek ..... stop. By now it's dark and there is nobody about except for a pack of stray dogs loitering near a menacing looking wall (the prison).... err, where are we! Shame, if she had kept her nerve and taken a right and then a left we would have been in familiar territory. So close!

Mark the local (so close!).

We hired a motorbike to go to Hang Dong. On the way back there were traffic lights about every half km and the cars were nose to tail all the way down. Hundreds of motor bikes had great fun though weaving in and out of the stationery traffic down to the front of the queue at the lights. I felt like Dennis Hopper in Easy-Rider (babe on the back, terrified but excited at my daring and panache) as I 'flung' the bike round the cars, up pavements sometimes down the inside sometimes in the middle and sometimes down the outside looking for that small gap that would get me closer to the front.

It took me a while to understand why the motorbikes all roared off about 3 seconds before the lights changed and then I realised they were watching the other lights and as soon as they went red (no amber over here, that would just add to the confusion) they were off, very clever. And then it happened, I found myself at the front - 'Leader of the Pack' (The Shangri-las - isn't the internet great, I thought it was Diana Ross and the Supremes).

I was a bit tense whilst I waited for the light to go 'red' but the thing is to look casual and unconcerned, chatting to your 'girlfriend' whilst keeping half an eye on the light. Red!! I was away miles before anyone else reacted (hah) ........ that's funny, still no-one else has reacted and why are those motorbikes and cars roaring across my path from the left? OOps, those lights weren't for me. But, with a burst of acceleration we were through and arrived back at the guest house breathless with excitement. So close!

"I am never going on a motorbike with you again!"
(Now that's what I call acceleration - Marlon Brando to Elmer Fudd in one sentence)
"Aahh go on (was that a whine in my voice?), how else are we going to see all the sights"
"OK on one condition...."

......Later

We did the journey to San Patong and back (a round trip of about 70 Km) at a MAX speed of 30 KM per hour. Oh, the shame.

.
Before we set off for Hang Dong. Anticipating heavy traffic.

14th January - Hot Springs and Flat Tyres

2007-01-27T03:37:00.000Z

We hired a motorbike the other day and went out to some hot springs which were about 20 miles away. We were almost there when we got a flat tyre.Luckily I remembered we had just passed a garage so I slowly drove the bike back whilst Sue walked.
"We have flat tyre," (miming a flat tyre, puffing out cheeks and letting the air out) "do you have air ? (miming air, wafting hands about?)
"No" (a garage with no air?!) "but a man in a shop about 200m back down the road can fix" (why can they all speak English).
Off we went armed with a little map she had drawn and just to make sure a man on a motorbike followed us and pointed out the way we had to go. These Thai people are so helpful and nice, I thought. Sure enough, when we got to the turning there was a large nail hammered into a tree with a bicycle tyre and some old inner tubes on it. What a great sign! We went down a dirt track and there was a rickety old garage with an old truck outside, straight out of 'The Grapes of Wrath' with a sign on the side saying 'Dodge Brothers'.

An old guy came out and I said, pointing at the motorcycle (which I was pushing at the time) "Mai bpai" (no go) - I knew the Thai would come in handy, he would have had no idea about what was wrong without such a succinct summary of the problem. I then mimed flat tyre again and he pointed at another man who was in a hammock and said "mechanic". Over he strolled and set to work. A bowl of water, a compressor and tyre irons were all to hand and in a matter of minutes he had the inner tube out a patch on the hole, checked for more leaks in the water and replaced the tyre. 20 baht!! How cheap is that (30p), I gave him 40 baht (how mean is that!!). He seemed pleased though and settled back into his hammock with a huge joint, it must have been 2 handwidths long and as thick as my index finger.

Off we went,"How lucky we were that he was just there, we are miles from anywhere" I said. "I wonder how we got the puncture" said Sue, "On the tacks he put in the road" I said jokingly. Then it hit me. My God we had noticed the puncture about 400 yards up the road. The main garage had no air but they knew exactly where to send me and made sure I got there. The bowl of water,compressor and patches were suspiciously right where he needed them and come to think of it I didn't notice any other tools........ DodgeBrothers?......Surely not......

By the way I didn't realise hot springs were so hot! We walked to a 'well' with steam coming out of it and loads of people keeping an eye on eggs in baskets that they were cooking, but the common sense part of my brain was obviously switched off and the scientist in me was compelled to stick my hand in the water to test the temperature, I was very brave. Later I noticed a sign saying that the water temperature was 105 degrees centigrade.

In my defence there were lots of children playing in water nearby and running in and out of fountains of water shooting out of the ground. Well I think it is a defence - needless to say Sue didn't. She also pointed out that she saw lots of men do exactly the same thing but no women. I think that just goes to show how women accept everything on face value, whereas men are naturally curious and question even the blindingly obvious!

MarkHEAT - IT WAS BLEADY BEALING!!!

14th January - On Learning Thai

2007-01-26T12:28:00.000Z

It's easy there is hardly any grammar, just a matter of learning some vocabulary and pronunciation.

I had done a couple of extra hours learning Thai whilst Sue did week 3 of her massage course and was a bit worried about being left behind.

We'll go and have a coffee and go through these flash cards I have made up.

The coffee house was set in a lovely garden and Sue seemed far moreinterested in the birds and flowers than in my cards so when the waitress came over I thought a demonstration of the usefulness of knowing a bit of Thai might help. I explained to her what the cards were and that we were learning Thai. Ah she said " Kun .......?" I was a bit sweaty but - "Pom kit wah Chiang Mai nau nit noi" (I think Chiang Mai is a little cold) I replied(smug mode). "Oh really," she said, "but I asked you how long you have been in Thailand!" "Ah We - have - been - in - Pra Tet (country) Thai -for hok (6) - weeks. We haven't done 'time' or 'been' yet."

Talk about set yourself up.

10th January 2007 - Me! Me! Me!

2007-01-26T12:24:00.000Z

It's all me, me, me at the moment. Massages followed by lengthy descriptions of my new flexible soft muscles. "Just bend my leg back whilst I lie on my stomach, see how far my leg bends now". "Feel how soft my bum is". "Just rub this Tiger balm into my thigh muscles please". "Look how far my knee bends".
Then there is the trip to the Chinese Doctor followed by the lengthy description of where the needles were and how relaxed I am feeling.
All this topped up with 'tests' on the Thai we are learning. "Just test me on the new words and then I will test you".
Not forgetting, of course, the ongoing lectures on how Sue's Thai massage lessons can help me when we get home and what she should do to make sure she knows what she is doing. "Why don't you do the next two week course and get some more practice in". "How about doing the weekends course and learn foot massage?" "We could convert room 4 into a (my) massage parlour". "Come along to see Mr Knat give me a massage and get him to show you what to do to me".

Not surprising therefore when we were sitting down to breakfast the other day and i was in full flow when Sue suddenly finally cracked and said (with feeling) "For god's sake drink your tea, eat your breakfast and shut up for 5 minutes will you?" - There was a shocked silence then we both cracked up.

Poor Sue.

1st January 2007 - Christmas Day

2007-01-26T12:19:00.000Z

Me - "Oh my God, it's 7.30! I told you to set the alarm for 7.00!" "Happy Christmas to you too dear." "Oh, sorry."

So started Xmas day 2006, one to be remembered.

Bus arrived at 8.30, 'Mr T' driving wearing a bomber jacket with Duckhams Oil and Silverstone badges on it, so the drive was nice and sedate. 'Mr Chat' was the guide and he did too, was that alcohol I smelt?

First stop -the elephants. Our elephant was called Pupet, he was 50 years old and his mahout had been with him about 3 months. He encouraged him with a series of kicks and long drawn out grunts and a pretty vicious looking hook on the end of a stick (actually come to think of it that was how he encouraged us too). We spent about half an hour on him. I took my shoes off and rested my feet on his back (the elephants) which felt like warm, dry old leather. He stopped twice to go to the toilet (Wow! no prostate trouble for him I think) and once in a stream for a drink. He was huge! There were three of us on his back and a contraption with a seat on it for us and I really don't think he noticed the weight. One surprising fact was that I noticed hardly any smell. At one point the mahout got off and I moved on to his neck!

It cost us 20 baht to feed him bananas at the end, so delicate but so much latent power in the trunk.

Then we had lunch in a hill tribe village. We chatted to Dave and Rema from LA just married and on their Honeymoon. They met in an elevator!

The people around were cutting wood, cultivating small vegetable plots and cooking. It struck me that they had all they needed to survive.

Next the white water rafting! Sue and I did the long ride as we didn't want to visit the hill tribes or go bamboo rafting. This meant we went what seemed miles up the Mai Thang River past loads of rapids before we started. Our guides were Mr Luck and 'Boy' We put on life jackets and then went through the instructions: (We were right at the front Sue on the left, me on the right.
"Forward" - one hand on top of the paddle and the other half way down the handle and paddle.
"Faster" - Paddle like crazy to miss oncoming rock.
"Backwards" - Paddle like crazy backwards to avoid oncoming rock.
"Stop" - assume prayer position whilst guides attempt to avoid oncoming rocks.
"Down" - throw yourself into the bottom of the raft (not much room, so this usually meant me throwing myself on top of Sue, who was invariably first down by a mile) because we were going to hit an oncoming rock.
"On the job" - struggle back up to a sitting posiotion ready for the next set of oncoming rocks.
"Left" - Sue leans back and I throw myself across Sue's lap to stop the raft capsizing.
"Right" - I lean back and Sue throws herself across my lap to stop the raft capsizing.

Off we went, first rapid - "Down" so we threw ourselves into the bottom of the raft just as huge wave came into the raft - very funny. We were 2 hours going down the rapids which included one grade 4. Finished soaked to the skin, bruised toe nail for me and two broken nails for Sue but a high five with the guides and rice whisky from a bamboo cup. The water was very cold and at one point, just before the grade 4 the guide looked ahead to see how others were doing and then reminded us about the instructions to throw ourselves left and right to keep the raft balanced and to make sure we floated face up in the river if we fell out, you should have seen Sue's
face. Off we went - "Right" - I leaned back and just managed to catch Sue as she threw herself right across me and nearly straight out of the raft. - "Left" - I threw myself to the left and just managed to catch Sue as she threw herself left too, and nearly out of the raft. The worst bit was what I swear was 4 foot verticle drop when someone shouted "Back" - I hope he meant throw yourself backwards becuase that was what we did.

We shared a songteauw home with some guys who had been on a three day trek and were looking forward to a shower - a sentiment a heartily agreed with.

When we got back we had a great herabal sauna to warm up then rang the family at home. It was about 8.00pm here.

Then back to the room to cap off a perfect day by ...going straight to sleep.

Mark

29th December 2006 - Ying and Yang

2007-01-26T12:17:00.000Z

I am having acupuncture treatment now as well as Thai massage, my body doesn't know what's hit it!

I went in and laid on a couch and the lady Doctor asked me how I felt. "Well I have Tinnitus in my left ear and a chronic pain in my right knee, but apart from that I am OK, Digestion Ok and regular bowel movements every morning. Oh and I have a pain in my groin, since you ask (where did that come from?)"

"I am going to treat your tinnitus and your knee and also give you some general treatment to 'correct the im-balance in your Ying and Yang'". So I laid back and tried to relax whilst she put the needles in, I hardly felt a thing. There were 15 needles altogether and afterwards she left me to 'meditate' for half an hour during which time I had some strange sensations in my ears and wrists but no pain and used the time to concentrate on the air going in and out of my nose and to think about where my Ying and Yang were and why nobody had told me they weren't balanced.
Sue came in half way through to look at me and take some photographs, she said I looked like the character 'Pinhead' in the Horror movies. Afterwards the doctor told me not to go swimming as I might sink and to come back twice a week for further treatment. No real change in how I felt afterwards although Sue did say my Ying definitely looked smaller.

23rd December 2006 - Visa Run

2007-01-26T12:12:00.000Z

Tourist visa's last 60 days and then you have to leave the country. Our first 60 days ran out on the 17th December so we booked to go to Luang Prabang in Laos. 7 Hour bus journey up up up to Chiang Khong on the border. Then a 2 day river trip down the Mekong to Luang Prabang, a bit like a very long water slide. The Mekong is the 12th longest river in the world, it starts in Tibet and goes out into the South China Sea in Vietnam a distance of 3000 miles, we covered about 100 miles.
We stayed over night in Chiang Khong on the banks of the Mekong, looking at Laos on the other side.

Next day after lots of stamping of visas and official posturing we got on the boat and sat down on a wooden bench (we had bought a cushion each for 50 baht) on the shady side, I had cleverly worked this out in advance so we didn't get too hot, what a mistake that turned out to be.

There was a group of 20+ year olds who took over the space at the front of the boat. One in particular caught my eye, lets call him Mr Personality. He spent the whole two days being the centre of attention within the group, photographing and being photographed at every available
opportunity (do I sound bitter?!).

The first day we were in the boat 6 hours, left at 12.00 and arrived at 6.00pm freezing cold, after about 4.00pm the wind got up and everyone got all the clothes they could find out of their bags to put on. We had decided to travel light and left all the heavy warm stuff back in Chiang Mai. We stopped overnigt at Pak Beng where the electricity comes on at 6.00pm (when the boats arrive) and goes off again at 9.00 (when we all go to bed), wierd - candles everywhere, restaurants all trying to tempt us in, the heady smell of marijuana and the sound of generators.

We dreaded the next day but in the event it was much better, warmer, better
seats and we sat on the sunny side.

We saw a dead body floating down the river (what!). It was high in the water and face down. I remember that the foot was moving up and down in the wake as the boat passed by. The reaction on the boat was one of disbelief. "What's that?" "Was that a dead body?" "Did you see that?" and then everyone went quiet. The driver gave it a wide berth but there was no change in the engine noise and we just carried on. A couple of minutes later we passed some fishermen on the bank. I wondered how they would react when 'it' passed by.
Dead body, why do we call it that? Why not a dead man or dead woman, do we want to disassociate ourselves so quickly from thoughts of death that we talk about 'a' dead body as though 'it' has nothing to do with us anymore. "We saw 'a' live body in the river and the driver pulled over so we could rescue 'it'." It was a surreal experience.

Luang Pra Bang was beautiful, no traffic but cold.

We bumped into Mr Personality (and entourage) at a waterfall outside the city and on top of a hill looking round a Wat. He was really nice (he would be wouldn't he, why can't he just give me one reason to despise him). He was also going to the airport at the same time as us, but he was catching a plane to Bangkok thank goodness. I think the real reason why I didn't like him was because I don't like competition.

Mr Personality at the waterfall - hang on...that's me!

Then we flew back to Chiang Mai in 1 hour!

Our own personal jet? No, just late again.

23rd December 2006 - Motorbike Theft

2007-01-26T12:08:00.000Z

I came out of the guesthouse with my rucksack and list of jobs from Sue, go to immigration to sort out the visa extension, check the currency we need for Laos, get some more showergel (my head was spinning) and walked over to the bike. Huh? no bike. There was a space and if there had been a cream cake dessert in it I would have looked inside. "That's funny, it was here last night". I walked around looking outside the massage place and the coffee shop, in case I had left it there and walked home by accident (those of you who know me will realise that that was not as stupid an idea as it sounds). Finally I had to admit to myself that it had been stolen, so off I trudged to the shop to break the news (our liability was 40, 000 baht!). At any one time I should say that a conservative estimate of the number of motorbikes like mine would be about 100,000 so the chances of it being found were surely zero.

"Ah, Mr Mark, you lucky man, the police came round to say they had stopped 2 people on your bike and it is at the police station"! Unbelievable! I am beginning to think that the Jackson luck is a real phenomenon that could do with some serious scientific study. I spent the day being ferried around between 2 police stations and the shop the son of the owner. They didn't actually talk to me but there was lots of pointing and 'ferang''s flying about (their word for foreigner). It cost me 1400 baht. 400 to replace the number plate (That's why they stopped them, the idiots removed it when they stole it!!) and crash helmet and 1000 to the guy who ferried me here there and everywhere. I was due to pay another thousand as a 'thankyou/ bribe' to the policeman when I collected the bike but even after a whole day they
wouldn't let us have it.

Which reminds me of another story. A guy in the Internet cafe had his credit card stolen by someone he thought was a friend. he then got a phone call from a night club in Bagkok to say they had been presented with his card that night and when it was refused the guy who used it ran off and could they please have the 6000 baht for the bill! When he pointed out that he was in Chiang Mai and the card was stolen so he wasn't going to pay, they described the man (a one armed black Japanese guy) he realised it was his friend that had stolen the card (although how he knew from that description I don't know). Guess what, the guy turned up again in Bangkok. What would
you have done at that point....

a) Go to the police, or
b) Tell him that the police would ask for a massive bribe, so if he gave you
15 000 baht you would forget all about it?

I had heard about bribing the police but now I know it is true.

18th December 2006 - People Watching

2007-01-26T05:29:00.000Z

Had a reply to one of my notices yesterday, 5 or more Thai students want me to teach them, Oh my God.

I spent 5 and a half hours today just observing my fellow human beings, what a luxury that is.

Mr Hoo gave me my 3rd massage in consecutive days (I am Mr Mark). His name is Hoo (Mr Hoo), he is blind, 25 years old and has been doing massage for 10 years! I think he is the massage centre's extrovert because he never stops talking and making all the others laugh. I arrived early so sat and watched proceedings, there were 8 blind masseurs there some laying around on the massage beds, some sitting about and others doing massages. One (I think he was the manager) sat behind the desk and got out something that looked like a crib scoring board and a peg. Then he got out packs of plastic vouchers (you get one to give to the masseur when you pay) and counted them. Each time he finished a pack he moved the peg on one place. All was going smoothly until he took the elastic band off one and they slipped out of his hand onto the floor. I offered to pick them up but he either didn't hear me or ignored me so I carried on watching. He just left them and moved on to another pack. By this time Mr Hoo was ready for me so I laid down on my back and continued to observe. He finished counting the cards and then picked up the cards on the floor, counting as he went, so he must have known how many there should have been. Then he counted the money in a black zip wallet and put everything away and locked the drawer. About half an hour later a big 4x4 arrived and out climbed a very well dressed blind lady (from the passenger side!). They all knew her and it became apparent that it was pay day! A sighted person arrived who sat at the desk and counted the cards and money and filled in a ledger. So the manager had been checking everything was in order (isn't it great how you can make a story out of a situation just by watching). There was lots of laughter and touching as they moved around each other in a sort of dance, being blind hardly seemed more than a small inconvenience (as you will see).
About half way through my massage I observed 2 of them go out (the manager and one other) and mess around for a while putting their shoes on before going off somewhere arm in arm (famous proverb comes to mind), a little while later they came back and the manager came in felt my feet and then came round the side of the bed to see me. I must be able to put up with the pain better, because he said "Mr Mark, Mr Mark, are you asleep?" Asleep!! I spat out the pillow and said (as casually as I could manage) "No". "Oh I like your shoes outside, I was wondering where you got them". "Oh yes" I said "from the walking market at a stall near the end. (It then occurred to me that he would never find it.) Would you like me to take you there?" "Oh yes that would be nice." So we arranged to go the following Saturday night at 9.00pm when the market was open.
It is amazing how fast a 2 hour massage passes when you have so much to observe, as he is blind I can watch Mr Hoo really closely as he speaks, observing his smile and the way he forms the words, I am going to have to learn some Thai and practice on him.

Afterwards I went to a Wat and sat waiting for the arrival of the High Lama for Thailand, it is a bit like the Archbishop of Canterbury coming to Norwich Cathedral, can you imagine the fuss there! He was late, very late. I sat there 2 and a half hours but again it was fascinating watching what was going on. It seemed to be mainly monks one side and the rest of us the other. People were constantly coming and going, bringing flowers and gifts and putting them on tables. The monks were all chatting to each other, one monk in particular caught my eye because he could only have been about 4 foot six tall yet all the other monks were treating him with the utmost respect. At one point a Thai in a brilliant white uniform complete with hat and medals came and knelt before him to talk to him. He held his hands constantly in the Wai position (like a prayer) and kept his head bowed and below the monk's, but the talking seemed very informal with lots of laughter. After a while another monk came and knelt before the monk too, it was obvious that he wanted to make sure he was lower than the other monk, but this meant the poor Services guy had to go even lower so as not to be above the second monk, he was practically lying on the floor!

Eventually I could hear a procession approaching with a band playing and lots of monks arrived followed by school children and a car covered in ribbons pulling a trailer with a throne on it, a framed scroll, a golden umbrella and some sort of emblem on a long pole. The procession proceeded down the aisle right past me followed by a couple more small inconspicuous monks. Where was the high Lama? He had been one of the monks, I wasn't even sure which one! I can't imagine being allowed in if the Archbishop of Canterbury visited Norwich, let alone occupy a seat right by the iaisle(? not sure how to spell it, no dictionary, microsoft word is in Thai, i am the only Englishman here and worst of all, no Sue! So that is my best guess), and I am fairly sure it would have been obvious who he was. So many people were there including monks who couldn't find a seat and I was the only Westerner I could see, so after a while I crept out and left them to it.

Altogether an interesting day. Have I mentioned that most of the men spend at least a few months of their lives as monks? The Thais are so respectful of each other and always make you feel welcome. Some of the large rude disrespectful Westerners you see make you feel so ashamed. The Thais that serve them are just as friendly and respectful but I can't help wondering what they are thinking, I just hope they don't judge us all in the same way we do "Bloody immigrants coming over here stealing all our jobs"

13th December 2006 - Cookery Course

2007-01-26T05:25:00.000Z

Sue and I are now experts in Thai Cooking and we have certificates to prove it from the Gap's Cookery School.

There were only 3 of us. Sue myself and Rachel (who comes from Hawaii). We went round a market and then to a lovely garden with about 20+ little gas hobs set under a canopy. There we met Joe who has many years experience as a chef in Thailand.

We made: Green curry paste (from scratch), Chicken and green curry in coconut milk, Red curry, Pad Thai, Spring Rolls, Tom Yam and a Green Desert.

"Is eeeaaasy. You say to me, Joe how much chilli i put in? I don't know, you feel it in here (bangs chest above heart) mnaaaaaahhhhhhh (he finished most sentences with this long drawn out sort of laugh)". "You taste. Too Spicy? Put in a little stock. Too sour? put in a little sugar, too sweet? put in a little fish sauce! Is eeeeaaaasy, mnaaaaaahhhhhhhhh". The soup was the best one, we made the basic soup and brought it to the table where Joe was sitting. "OK you taste soup......what is like?" "Water", we say. "Mnaaaaahhhh (points at all the spices etc. on the table) OK you put in some chilli, you say Joe, how much chilli and I say, I don't know, your friends they say oh Joe is too hot I no like mnaaaahhhhhh. So what you do?" We shrug. "Is eeaaassyyyyyy, you give them soup and put the chilli and sugar and fish sauce on the table mnaaaahhhhh. Then they say- too salty? Add sugar. Too sweet?........mmmnnnnaaaaahhhhh. Is easy right?"

He does this every day of the week. Quite early on when we asked if he ate this food he said, "If you ask me to taste your green curry, I kill you,mmnaaaahhhhh!"

For every dish we did we went through the ingredients. He would ask us to turn to a page and then start talking "Green curry - we know thaaaaattt!, Galangal - what's this? (he would then show us), stock, we know thaaatt, " It took me 2 dishes to realise he was running through the ingredients in the recipe because he wasn't looking at the book (he knew it by heart.) and because he wasn't looking at the book, neither was I. I was looking at him wondering what the hell he was talking about! It was obvious (afterwards) that he was reading the list of ingredients, (after all he had just told us the page number) but, because he didn't look at the page I didn't make the connection between what he was saying and the page in front of me! Now you might think I was just being stupid (and you may be right) but there is an important point here, he assumed we would realise he was reading the ingredients because it was obvious to him.

This is a problem when teaching maths (and English!!) when you describe something or give an instruction, YOU know what you are talking about, you have a mental picture of the concept involved and the danger is that you assume the person you are talking to is coming at it from the same place you are and can therefore follow your train of thought, because it is obvious to him. But, if they are not thinking about things in the same way you are or if some basic idea at the start of an instruction is missing, the whole thing goes to pot.

30th November - Massage & Buddhism

2007-01-26T05:21:00.000Z

Finally plucked up the courage for another massage. Went to a famous nerve touch massage school. Run by a woman (recently retired) who has traveled to the States to give seminars and has 40+ years of experience. Her son, Jack, is now the new master and I have a session booked with him on Saturday. Meanwhile his assistant gave me a massage today. He started off really gently but gradually I got the feeling he was determined to make me bend come what may. He got me into what I can only describe as WWF wrestling holds and then I could feel him building up momentum before launching
himself and me into classic 'Thai massage' positions (look them up on the web - http://www.nervetouch.com/engmenu.html - this is the actual school I went to). I could imagine him thinking, "I am going to get this b---- to 'click' if it is the last thing I do". I don't know who was more surprised when the sum total of his efforts was a meager 1 - 2 cm away from the horizontal in any direction. I think I must be the stiffest human in Chiang Mai.

Monday 4th December
Sue started her Thai massage course today so I am alone In Chiang Mai. What to do? I know watch a film on the TV and then go to the Internet cafe brilliant, sometimes my daring and resourcefulness quite takes my breath away!
I hope Sue enjoys the course, I really want her to get something out of this trip because I sometimes think all this is my fault, I am going through a massive mid-life crisis and Sue (bless her) would much rather be at home on the golf course.

Last night we stayed at the Bamboo Hut, hostel. Neither of us got a wink of sleep, the bed was a piece of hardboard on top of which was a mattress no thicker than a piece of toilet paper, soft toilet paper like.... (well known brand that uses a golden retriever puppy in it's adverts whose name I have totally forgotten, all I can think of is Dulux but that's not right - Duracel? No). On top of that it squeaked whenever you moved - how could that be there was nothing to squeak!!

We went to Doi Suthep Wat yesterday for a quiet walk outside the city. It was heaving! Took some good photos and the motorbike ride back down the hill was great fun. There were 304 steps up to the top and that was after a 10km motorcycle ride up a steep road.

Northern tribe children on the steps singing for money

The view was breathtaking, we were looking down on planes taking off and landing from the airport and the planes took some time to reach our height.

I was impressed (again) with the attitude of the Thais. They seem to have so much fun. This temple is one of the most Holy in Thailand but everyone was just milling around, drinking, laughing, talking on mobiles (and that was just the monks!).

As long as you didn't climb on the Buddhas or point the bottom of your feet at them when you sat down (quite difficult for me and involved rather a tortuous and complicated maneuver that required a lot more space than most people) it seemed that anything goes.

There were bells and gongs around that everyone was 'bonging' away at and hordes of people carrying flowers and joss-sticks patiently waiting their turn to place in front of a Buddha. So much better than in our country, can you imagine what would be going on at our most sacred place. You wouldn't be able to move for 'Keep Off' and 'Don't Touch' signs. And woe betide you if you happen to have a tickle in your throat that may lead to a ...... COUGH (I know, too shocking isn't it). Why do we have to be so serious about everything?
Jesus (oops) lighten up!

Mark

23rd November 2006 - Massage Bangkok Style

2007-01-26T05:17:00.000Z

Back in Bangkok but only for a couple of days. Had my first real 'Thai' massage yesterday.

In we went and Sue persuaded me to go for the 2 hr full on tie you in knots Thai massage (pun intended) so I got changed into some fetching yellow fisherman pants (all the rage over here) and a lime green silk top and laid down in this darkened room. In came this petite Thai girl who asked why "You not want oil massage?" I tried to explain but it was too difficult so I agreed to change "OK you remove all clothes now", "What - all?" "Yes, yes".

Here you have to remember I had already experienced the Thai's seeming indifference to nudity, so not wishing to seem prudish I complied even though she stayed in the room as I did it. I performed the 'difficult' maneuver by lying on the bed, putting a towel over myself and then removing the pants from underneath, thus protecting my dignity. She knelt down next to me and whipped away the towel with a sort of 'we won't be needing this' attitude and I thought OK, what do I do now? What would people I know do? I couldn't think of anything that would have helped (the only person I could think of was Billy and I thought hopping down the corridor trying to pull my pants on as I went was less than dignified) so i just tried to appear as though it was the most natural thing in the world to be lying stark naked an a bed with a young girl kneeling next to me.

Luckily it was an oil massage (luckily!? I here you say) because I was soon covered in so much oil it was impossible for her to feel how much I was sweating.

She started on the right leg massaging right up to the top (the odd 'brush with destiny' was surely an accident). Then she cupped my testicles in her hand and said "Some people like to be massaged here." and giggled (You feel shocked? - how do you think I felt!).

Actually, I cannot believe how calm I felt, I laughed (at least I think I laughed) and said "Oh do they? Well not me". A bit more giggling and she carried on massaging the leg. Phew I thought, glad I made that clear, how maturely I am handling this.

Then she moved to the other leg. It was a bit odder this time because I couldn't help thinking she may have an ulterior motive. then without so much as a by your leave she 'grabbed me' and flopped it about like a conger eel, well eel, well worm, well OK maggot and said "Mr has very good control" and then giggled again. Oh my god this is getting (getting!!) out of control. "No really, I do just want a massage, really, please." More giggling and then she did my stomach and shoulders, "Mr is a bit tense, relax." I really think she meant it too, the whole thing was so normal to her, it was bizarre.

She turned me over and except for a few more dodgy moments when she did the backs of my legs, having first found out how far apart she could get them, the rest of the hour passed without 'incident'.

Did I mention that Sue was just across the corridor? I came out and sat down next to her in the waiting area.
Masseur - "Would you like something to drink sir?" "No thanks"
Sue - "Are you sure?" "Yes", "Did you enjoy that?" "It was OK", "Are you all right?" "Yes, can we go now?"

Jesus!

Looking back I wonder if my main mistake was offering a 100 baht tip before the massage began.

"You idiot, are you mad?" Were just some of Sue's comments when I mentioned this small detail.

This traveling is too much sometimes, I am going to spend a few days lying in a darkened room.

Moral ----- Goodness knows, I don't expect anyone who is reading this would have got into the same pickle that I did, so I wouldn't worry.

It's a funny old world.

Mark

(Definitely no photo to follow!)

19th November - Lost in Translation

2007-01-26T05:14:00.000Z

Just a quick email, the reason I lost the other email was that I must have pressed a key by mistake when looking up a quote from the Lonely Planet guide. It was taken from one of the museums in Kanchanaburi and concerned some of the strange English translations you sometimes get here;

I hope it causes no offense and that (like me) you take it in a lighthearted way and do not think it disrespectful.

... a reference to the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima for example,
reads 'Almost the entire city was destroyed in a jiffy'.

Classic.

17th November 2006 Fishing in Kanchanaburi

2007-01-26T05:11:00.000Z

Bum! I have just finished an email and lost the lot!

This time I will save as a draft.

We are in Kanchanaburi staying on a raft on the river Kwai. Ours is the furthest raft out and faces west, great views! We sat out last night taking in the atmosphere and thinking about the history when we heard music drifting down the river towards us. Into view hove a raft the size of a small village with a load of people singing karaoke! They were screeching something in Chinese as they passed, how crass! Unbelievable that they would let something like that go on in a place like this....... Sue and I have booked for tomorrow night, we'll show them a bit of British culture, Chaz and Dave - Rabbit, Rabbit! should do it.

Got up this morning and put on my armour for the day: Shower followed by 'Prickly Heat' talc on those important bits, factor 30 on anything likely to be exposed and factor 8 everywhere else (you can never tell). This was followed by a quick run through the mosquito repellent dip and then dressed in long fishermans trousers and a tee-shirt (yes I know it has short sleeves but factor 30 remember!). On top - sunglasses and my old boy safari hat later an ill-fitting crash helmet completed the ensemble. Sue? A quick rub down with cooking oil, a bikini top and white shorts. The irony is that I know I will be the one to get sunburnt as at some point I always think, "Oh to hell with this!" and go out totally unprotected!

At breakfast we saw a man with a half inflated car inner-tube, a snorkel and a harpoon-gun. He was fully dressed and wearing wellies (was this some sort of style competition!). He swam out into the river and I dashed back to get my camera. When I returned I scanned the river side for a sign without luck until Sue tapped me on the shoulder and pointed him out, right in front of me - lying dead still face down in the water on top of the inner-tube.

We also saw a monitor lizard right outside our bedroom swimming along. It stopped right in front of us. Black and Yellow and a good 5 feet long (why have you never got the camera when you need it).

Hired a motorbike and spent the whole day getting lost for only 280 baht (including petrol). Sue must be getting used to me driving now as I distinctly remember being able to breathe out more easily (breathing in is no problem).

Opposite where I am now is a shop advertising 'Nong Air Massage' just goes to show the power of imagination. Maybe they can equally imagine I have given them 400 baht!

Mark and Sue

15th November 2006 - Cabbages & Condoms

2007-01-26T05:08:00.000Z

Back in Bangkok, if you are ever here try 'Suk11' backpackers lodge on Sukhumvit Road Soi 11, it is a great place. In the style of old Thai wooden rooms off corridors that remind you of something out of Dickens. The area is great too. We are sitting in a restaurant called 'Cabbages and Condoms' which is one of a small chain in Asia promoting safe sex. The lampshades, table decorations and most other things are made of - you guessed it - condoms.
Christmas presents for home sorted!
Did the tourist thing today visiting the 'Grand Palace' and 'Wat Pho', pretty impressive and we didn't get ripped either, funny how soon you feel like old hands, we even gave some poor guy advice about the 'Tuk Tuk' drivers, "Oh yes, you have to be careful about who you talk to. When you have been in Bangkok as long as we have....."

Had a great hair cut yesterday, I now have less hair than the budhist monks! She kept giggling as she removed all evidence of hair from my head, in my ears and up my nose, I wasn't expecting that! All for 200 baht (rip).

Off to the 'Bridge over the River Kwai' tomorrow, the area is supposed to be beautiful but the railway was built at a huge cost. I seem to be contemplating the contrast between the beauty of the country and the negative impact of mankind a lot at the moment.

It is Sue's birthday next week so we have booked in to a swish hotel right on the river for 2 nights. I won't tell you the price as the act of writing it down would be too shameful but heh you are only ..... once! Bless her, she deserves it for putting up with me, I wouldn't.

13th November 2006 - Phuket

2007-01-26T05:03:00.000Z

Still in Phuket but moving on tomorrow. There is so much going on at night here it is too much for my aging senses. Lights flashing, signs everywhere offering all sorts of things, suits, massages, food, drinks, I am just glad I am with Sue otherwise goodness knows what else would be on offer. But what an amazing country, the smells, sounds and sights assault the senses from everywhere. We hired a moped today and did some exploring, the road system is organised chaos, you drive on the left like in the UK but there the resemblance ends. I would say the ratio of mopeds to cars is easily 20 to 1 and they come at you from all sides and directions but I loved it! Much more liberating than the boring highway code we have at home. Its everyman for himself and I soon learnt that the best guide is - if in doubt just keep going! How many times do you drive along a road and glancing left notice an elephant waiting in a side road for you to pass!

We saw some traditional Thai dancing last night, they are such a graceful people, I felt that all the westerners there were like clumsy oafs, burping and stumbling our way through their country with no regard for their culture or politeness. Of course that is a generalisation but I do wonder what they think of us. Maybe when I have been in one place for a while I will find out!

Went to the cape at the bottom of Phuket tonight the best place to see the sunset. Unfortunately there was a race between the sun reaching the horizon and a bank of cloud passing over our heads heading west. The clouds won. Still it was a lovely place, spoilt only by a loud group at the table next to us where one lady proceeded to tell her friends (among other things too numerous to mention) that she was into dousing and weegee boards and that she must like her new friends as she doesn't normally like talking about this because she doesn't want people to think she is a 'freeko' (her words). Apparently she didn't mind everyone at the restaurant trying to enjoy the sunset knowing either!

I find myself torn between loving my fellow humans and hating them with a passion!

Mark

10th November 2006 - Railay to Karon Beach

2007-01-26T04:58:00.000Z

We are on Karon beach, just along the way from Patong beach (the sex centre of Thailand,outside Bangkok). We are staying at a little guest house but thinking already of moving on. It is far too busy after the peace and quiet of Railay. One good thing is that we have found Interenet access for 20 baht unlimited!

About Thai massages. An oil massage given by sweet little thai girls who remove all your clothes and then cover nearly all of you in oil are very pleasant if embarrasing.They do cover you with strategically placed corners of flannel like towels which are sadly plenty big enough.

Thai massages given by older more heavily built thai women however are another matter. You know when you tenderise meat by pummeling it with a wooden mallet? The masseur (what an innocent name) carefully places your skeleton into a locked position (like a wrestling hold) and then proceeds to roll your muscles against the bone to iron out the knots, apparently the tighter you are the more painful it is and I know no-one tighter than I am! I made the mistake of mentioning my knee which has been stiff and painful for the last 30 years. Lek (my masseur in Railay), who calls me PaPa said "Today I make PaPa cry". The pain was unbelievable, and that was the good leg! Her fingers were like blunt knives seeking out the particularly tender areas, "You feel that PaPa?" "Hell yes!" "You feel a tingling in your knee?"(As she forced her elbow into my groin) "Well,I might be able to if I could get past the pain where your elbow is". Things clicked and cracked all around my body and particularly around my knee, yet I had total confidence in her. She barely touched my actual knee but worked on the muscles, tendons and veins(her words) around it. The only time I came near to tears was at the end when I stood up. My knee felt freer than at any time I can remember, it felt so good I almost cried. It will never be normal, but now I feel it could be better,which is great.

Found a nice restaurant called the 'Red Onion' the same name as a place we used in Prague!

Now, do we stay here a few days or fly to Bangkok or go back to Railay? We met a nice couple last night Mika and Annie from Finland. We have swapped emails, they are going to come and stay with us in England (they have never been there) and we are going to stay in their cottage by a lake and use their wood burning sauna, which reminded me of a great film - 'The Cuckoo'.

By the way, this guy in Railay, called Jupe, was playing great music at his bar - Ben Harper - Greatest hits. check it out.

Take care, Mark

1st November 2006 - The Sanctuary 2

2007-01-26T04:55:00.000Z

We leave the Sanctuary today, bound for Railay beach in Krabbi. Long boat to Had Rin, Taxi to Thong Sala, night boat to Suratani, bus to Krabbi and then long boat to Railay (phew), total cost 900 baht each and it will take about 20 hours. We need to get away before 5th November when about 10,000 people are expected to descend on Had Rin for the full moon party, not my idea of fun, and actually not for most of the people we have met so far.

The bill came to about 10,000 baht for 4 days which was a bit over our budget!!

The Sanctuary is the vision of a lady called Jill who spends about 8 months of the year here and the rest of the time at 'home' in London. It is built into a jumble of rocks and jungle and it has taken 20 years to turn it into a beautiful sanctuary (I can think of no better word to describe it). You can walk here from Had Rin but it is a real hike so you can say that it is really only accessible by boat. The people who work here all live in and originate from the NE of Thailand. They live in bungalows even further up the jungle path than we are and it is not unknown to see cobras up there!

The restuarant/ bar is on about three levels, using platforms at various points within the rocks. They play music and even bring out a big screen for films, we watched 'Shaun of the Dead' last night for Halloween and some people really dressed up for the occasion.

We had a firefly in our hut last night! It flew around outside the mosquito net for a while, amazingly bright and the light pulsed bright and dim without ever going out. It didn't make a noise either which made it an even more eerie effect. Total darkness, jungle noises and this pulsating light drifting around the room.

29th October 2006 - The Sanctuary

2007-01-26T04:50:00.000Z

Hi all, we are at the Sanctuary on a beach at Had Thien in Kho Phangan and I have just had a Thai massage and feel great. This is a wonderful retreat that is not widely advertised but it comes recommended through word of mouth (thanks Karen). You can use a wellbeing clinic which involves fasting (not farting) for a number of days and undergoing self administered colonic irrigations twice daily. I must admit I am 'sorely'(excuse the pun) tempted but I think I will wait until we come again.
I can write this email whilst offline which is good because we are going way over budget on every other count!

We have met lots of people who are teaching English, usually in Bangkok. It seems like every time we ask someone what they are doing they say they are over here for 1 or 2 years and are teaching having had no experience beforehand. Apparently women are really in demand, so it looks like Sue is going to be keeping me! All that hard work in Prague was a waste of time - not really, I wouldn't have missed it for
anything.

Our room is in the middle of a treed area, it is like living in a tree house and the noise of the insects, frogs and animals last night was deafening. When the noise did diminish it was replaced by the sound of waves on the beach below.I never thought I would be lying in a bed under a mosquito net in the middle of a tropical jungle (or so it seemed), we both feel very lucky to be here. There was a large ghecko on the wall when we arrived back and we have seen fireflies and wasp like insects that are an amazing blue colour.

The meals are simple but delicious, my rice dish was served in a hollowed out pineapple and Sue had a Mackerel that we both fondly imagined to have been caught on the beach that day.

Arriving was fun, we got our rucksacks onto the truck at our last stop and went over the 'mountain' again to Thong Sala and then from there by another taxi to Had Rin - the place of the full moon parties! There we went to the beach and bartered with a guy to take us round the headland to Had Thein. A Canadian from Vancouver (they seem to get everywhere!) joined us and off we went for only 150 baht each - Not. It broke down as soon as we left, I think the fuel line broke (lucky it was then and not as we passed the rocks on the way out!). So we drifted back in the 'driver' asked for 3oo baht to go and get some petrol (talk about living hand to mouth) so off he went having made sure we wouldn't defect and there we sat as the storm clouds gathered and all the other boats loaded up and made there way out to sea. Eventually he came back, by now the wind was up and the waves were building, Sue's face was a picture.
Off we went at high speed, i couldn't decide if it was raining or it was just the sea spray but by the time we arrived we were soaked. Still we caused some entertainment for the people in the Sanctuary Restaurant as we waded ashore with our stuff. I would have helped but I was too busy taking photos of Sue as she splashed around joyfully in the surf.

We are here until next Wednesday in Bungalow 7.

We have just stopped to chat to a vision in a sarong who said she is doing the 7 day fast and she is on the fourth day, this is the second year she has done it and it is the best thing we could do - oh well if it's the best thing then.....ready Sue? Sue?!

26th October 2006 - In the Swing at Central Cottage

2007-01-26T04:39:00.000Z

We are both very much ok. I get up in the morning about 9.30, sweep the hut free of sand and wash the shower room floor (like being in the caravan again). We then stroll 10 yds to the sea for a swim and then an exhausting 20 yds for breakfast, followed by a snooze on the beach, sweep the hut again,lay in the hammock and read or play the guitar, lunch, swim , siesta.....get the picture?

We have met some really nice people Andy from Switzerland who's Dad is a doctor but they don't get on. Apparently he is very rich, thinks nothing of drinking a 500 pound bottle of wine and his cellar runs to 7000 bottles! He despairs of Andy though who just travels, relaxes and says "Bloody Hell" a lot. There is also Sylvia (Andys friend), Svika (who is into rieki healing) and Michaela the last two from Israel, she's 6ft tall a grahic designer and very supple (she even made the Thai masseurs cringe).

The Thai massage was good, but very soft, I said I wanted the full 'bifta' today so we shall see. I may be queuing with all the rest for some reiki healing afterwards.

England seems a long way away now and not just geographically.

A couple of weeks of this and then i think we will be ready for 'The Sanctuary' - Colonic irrigation and all.

Going to hire a motorbike tomorrow, should be fun.

(Photos to follow)

23rd October 2006 - Night Bus to Surat Thani

2007-01-26T04:34:00.000Z

Sitting in an internet cafe right on the beach in Thong Nai Pan Yai, our bungalow is literally on the beach and I will go to sleep tonight to the sound of waves lapping on the beach, can't wait.

The journey was an adventure. I wanted to be at the front because Sue suffers from travel sickness so I had it all planned, she would carry the two day rucksacks so she could get to the front of the queue and I would take the two big rucksacks and the guitar to the luggage area of the coach which was parked just outside the station - NOT. We formed a crocodile with me following the driver, one pack on my back the other in my arms and my guitar crossways so it could knock stray pedestrians and other unfortunates into the road as I struggled to keep up. Sue suggested I stop so she could help but the "No thanks" through gritted teeth was enough for her to realise this was a macho thing. Half a mile later we finally reached the coach Sue was first on - up the stairs , loads of people already on and the front seat was reserved anyway. That's the last time I try and be first, last is best every time.

Left Bangkok at 7.00pm last night arrived at the beach about 2.00pm today. There was a bit of road rage on the way, reminded me of 'Duel' Stephen Speilberg. This battered lorry overtook blasting his horn then pulled in front and slowed right down, the driver tried to overtake but he kept blocking us, at one point our driver even tried to overtake on the hard shoulder! We eventually got past, no idea what it was all about; boredom?

I think we are going to like it here, got chatting to a couple of Canadians from Ontario, Kevin and Jenny plus some others on the boat where we 'jammed' on the guitars! (Yes ,me!!). We were right at the front so nobody could hear anything we played above the noise of the engine and the sea including us which probably helped.

We are now going to have a Thai massage and then off to the nearest chiropractor for traction!

mark and sue.

(Again photos later)

21st October 2006 - 'Ripped' in Bangkok

2007-01-26T04:31:00.000Z

Spent a couple of hours studying the 'Lonely Planet' this morning and then went out and promptly got ripped! 400 baht for a 5 min. boat ride and then a 40 baht journey on a tuk tuk to a couple of retail outlets. It wouldn't have been so bad if these were not two of the things the guide specifically warned us against! It was so bad all we could do was laugh and go and lay down in our hostel room for a while. God, this back packing life is tough.

After we had recovered we went by river taxi (30 baht for half an hour!) to the railway station, we met this really nice man on the way who said his daughter lived in England and the station was shut but not to worry for only 20 baht (each) he could get us a tuk tuk to a really helpful tourism office, how kind so we got into...... no actually with a nudge from Sue I cottoned on at last and with profuse apologies to him for all his trouble we walked round the corner to a bustling staion full of people and queues at the ticket office. No train tomorrow, they were all full!! but a really helpful man who knew someone who lived in England showed us to a tourist office (you can guess our scepticism - well Sue's) but it turned out he could help so we have booked a coach trip to Surat Thani and then on to Ko Pha Ngan as well as booking two nights in a bungalow on the beach for only 3100 baht(about 45 pounds) - we shall see. In theory it leaves at 1900 hours tomorrow night!!

Found the hostel 'At Home' that Alasdair suggested so when we finally come back to Bangkok, feeling wiser and poorer that looks like the place, only 380 baht per night(just over 5 pounds). Actually I don't know why I keep doing the math(s) for you, the exchange rate is about 70 baht to the pound, do it yourselves! I think we will know we have arrived when we start thinking in baht, when we get back home still thinking in baht the shock will probably kill us, 210 baht for one beer!

20th October 2006 - We've Arrived!

2007-01-26T04:20:00.000Z

Well here we are on the Kho San road (probably spelt wrong) in Bangkok, the equivalent to Oxford St in London staying at a hostel called Buddy Lodge. We just went across the road to a bar where a guy was playing Bob Dylan, Tracy Chapman,Cat Stevens, Bob Marley (you would have loved it Nick, Ian, Al in fact all of you) I bought him a beer and felt full of love for all mankind and especially Thai people and then he finished singing having dedicated a few to us and I was going to buy him a beer and have a chat when he just cleared off! Sue said he probably saw guys like me every night and probably just wanted to get home - I felt I really wanted to get to know him. I am so naive.

We had 9 bottles of Tiger beer and two curries for ten pounds, in a few weeks that will feel a real rip but at the moment it seems so cheap for beer drink and entertainment. Sue is asleep and I am just about awake. I must take some photos tomorrow and send them on. It is so hot. it must be 80 and it is 21.39 here. This year off has been so good so far, what a fantastic September and now it seems to be carrying on in the same vein.

We just walked by a stall offering certificates and diplomas for a knockdown price including Tefl!! How can they do that, after all we went through in Prague! Still they didn't get the fun I did, it was worth it just for the squirrel.

The airport at Bangkok is brand new and all our baggage arrived including the guitar (Alasdair and Greg) I am on the lookout for some more musicians. We took a taxi from the airport to the hostel and it came to just over 4 pounds! We aim to spend a couple of days here and then go to a beach somewhere. I am going to try and live in the present and not set any plans (apparently a famous guru that my Dad told me about has spent his whole life trying to get to the point where he can take in all that is going on NOW with no regrets about the past or plans for the future, I have 7 months!).

It's so good to be here I just wish you could all be here too, but then again I wouldn't meet anyone new, so no you guys stay just where you are so when I come back and I can come and say hello.

This email is costing me a baht a minute! 4 minutes to go and I am sure I had loads more to say but the time pressure is too much.

I don't think any of the girls in Thailand is above a size 4, Sue is going to ask for the XXL and I feel about 9 feet tall, I may never come home.

2 minutes to go, will email again soon.

I miss Prague, The Triangle and the family but that will wear off, there is a good band playing outside the hotel, see you.......

(I will add photos when I can)