18th March 2007 - Sue goes 'off on one'

RANONG.

Sometimes a little knowledge is dangerous. Our taxi driver, Jao, picked us up to take us to where the minibuses to Surat Thani left. Sue had checked it out in 'Lonely Planet' and discovered it was next to the Post Office. It was a good day to travel, overcast, not too hot and I was chatting to a nice Canadian guy who turned out to be a musician. He and his wife were off to do the same visa run to Burma that we had done the day before.

"That's funny," said Sue, "this isn't the way to the Post Office."
"Oh well, don't worry," I said, "Jao knows what he's doing".

We arrived at the bus station (logical) and there, in the corner on it's own with nobody in it, stood a decrepit old minibus. There was an office and a few Thai people were sitting around nearby.

Sue - "This isn't the Post Office! This can't be the right bus. Bprai sa nii (Yep! We know the Thai for Post Office), take us to bprai sa nii."
Jao - "Post Office closed today (it was a Sunday)."
Sue - "No, no! Rotbus glai (near) bprai sa nii." (The Thai was really coming in handy.)
Jao turned to me and tried to explain that this was the minibus and it left in 15 minutes (8am). I was a bit surprised that it was leaving so soon as it was empty and we were told that they left when full. Then Sue got back into the taxi and sat down next to the Canadan musicians wife (he was just standing around outside smoking a cigarette and taking it all in).
Sue - "I'm not getting out until you take us to the PostOffice. This isn't the right bus, please take us to the Post Office now!"
A few eyebrows were raised at this point. Jao leaned into the taxi, "Mama (it was madam earlier but things were starting to hot up), please come office."
Sue - "No, no! I'm not getting out."
Jao looked at me for help or something.
I peered into the taxi and recognised instantly the 'look' which said, "Don't mess with me."
Mark - "I think he just wants you to talk to someone with good English, dear."
Sue reluctantly got out.
"Yes, yes," said the lady behind the counter, "this is the bus and yes, it leaves in 15 minutes."
Sue - "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure, here are the tickets (waving a pad of tickets about and looking a little irritated), I sell you ticket."
Sue subsided slightly and I bought the tickets.
"Ok!" shouted the lady, and we turned to see all the Thais who had been sitting around piling onto the bus. We followed and got in to be met by a sea of silent faces, wide-eyed all staring at Sue a little nervously. They had left the back seat for us, to keep us as far away from them as possible.
Sue - "You weren't much help."
"Well over the years I have found it best, in situations like that, to just stand back and give you some room."

Off we go, everyone eyes front, avoiding the unpredictable farang in the back.

Off we went (quickly!), the ride was a little bumpy in the back but we made it to Surat Thani in a couple of hours. The driver had obviously done this route so many times that he could overtake without looking and whilst having yet another telephone conversation. He dropped us off right outside the travel agency where Sue had planned for us to buy tickets for the bus and ferry to Ko Samui (Ok, ok Sue it is worth doing some planning ahead). Inside we saw a girl we had been chatting to the evening before. She had caught the 6am bus and had spent a couple of hours hanging around the travel agency. We barely had time to go to the toilet before the bus arrived and we were off. 20 minutes wait for the ferry, straight onto a taxi at the other end and we were at our guest house 7 hours after we left Ranong. The whole thing cost us less than 7 pounds each, Jackson luck again.

17th March 2007 - The 'Burma Run'

No not drug running but getting our visas stamped for the last time before we leave Thailand and go home (boo hoo).

We left our island paradise at 7.30am and took the longboat to Ranong, where we were met by 'our driver' Jao. This sweet Canadian girl, Jasmine, was going to do the same thing so we asked her if she wanted to join us. She was coming to the end of a whole years trip away from home and wasn't looking forward to going back.

The whole visa thing is like a well oiled machine. All that was missing after we got off the longboat was the sound of a starting pistol.

1. Taxi to immigration office - visa checked and departure card completed.
2. Outside and given a crisp 10 dollar bill (if the bill is 'bent' the Burmese immigration officers don't take it).
3. Taxi to really run down fishing jetty where lots of young boys on flimsy little boats jostled for position. Jao fended off some young boys who wanted to help us with our rucksacks (a sharp growl and they scurried back into the dickensian shadows to lick there wounds).
The 'artful' led us by hand across boats to one on the outside.
4. Across the river to get petrol.
5. Up river to hut where he grabbed our passports and ran over some other boats and into a little office - back again,"Ok, ok we go now."

Check Point Charlie

6. Across a wide bay to Mayanmar (Burma as was).
7. Another old hut on stilts and 'artful' literally pushed the other boats out of the way and again leapt onto the little 'balcony'. Something was obviously said or signed and we were off again.

Move over!

8. We arrived at Victoria Point, which is a very busy run down port with lots of stalls selling things.
9. We were led off the boat and escorted to the immigration office. A young well dressed man fell in beside me, "Want to buy anything? Cheap beer, cheap cigarettes?" "Sorry no time" I puffed.
10. Immigration office, joined small queue of Farangs to get passport stamped. Crisp 10 dollar note miracoulously disappears.

Burmese immigration, I asked before taking this! In the background is the front of a long queue of locals trying to do the same as us I guess.

11. Back out and off we went to the boat having waved goodbye to Jasmine, who had decided to stay for a while (why?). I noticed the same young man fall in beside me "Papa want anything, Viagra?" Perhaps he thought I needed it.
12. Onto boat, back to Thailand.

Back to Thailand - home again!

"Tip, tip for artful?"He had earned it!
13. Taxi to immigration, 'entry' this time at the same desk but on the left of the 'departure' side that we had just left.
Sue looked at her watch, the whole thing had been done in 1 hour! Phew!!

13th March 2007 - Koh Chang - Paradise

Koh Chang is close to Paradise.

We decided to go for a walk the other morning as we were both awake before 7am. We walked along the beach for about 2 Km and then cut inland onto the 'main street' - concrete!

Another 2 Km and we hit the centre - 2 shops and 2 cafes literally in the middle of the island.

By the time we set off back the sun was up and it was getting hot. We arrived at the beach and then decided to take a short detour to the bakers as everyone had said they did great chocolate brownies and real bread!! This involved cutting back inland again but the sign assured us that it was only 100m. We got to a sign but there was no bakery, just a house down a track, we paused (fatally) and a nice helpful Thai said, well actually he went 'Uhh' and pointed further along the path so off we went, deeper and deeper into the 'dark dark wood'.

100m - surely this is beyond even the Thai's estimation I thought, but there was always just another corner to check or just another little hill to climb. By now we were a good 10km into our 'morning stroll' and I had left my compass back at the hut (yes I know it's sad but I always carry a compass to check where the sun is going to be in the morning - a hangover from our caravanning days when looking for the ideal pitch. "The kids are crying, I'm exhausted, we've been travelling all day and you're checking where the sun is going to be in the morning!!!"). Did I say it was getting hot?

OK we had better go back, but which way? The sounds of the jungle pressed in on us, what's that rustling in the leaves? A tiger? A cobra? OK Mark stay calm, think...... I know, turn round through 180 degrees and follow the path back the way we came, of course! What's this coming along the path towards us? No surely not, it can't be...... a jogger in day glo trainers - in this heat, are they mad!

"Excuse me do you know where the bakers is?" - It seemed such a normal question, surely something along the lines of "Water!" or "Paula Radcliffe I presume" would have been more appropriate.

"No sorry, I haven't heard of it" - Aahh, an American, that explains everything.

We retraced our steps back to the original house 100m from the beach which you have already guessed was the Bakers and they did have yummy chocolate brownies and coffee so strong that when we both finally made it back to the hammocks we couldn't sleep but just laid there staring straight up, twitching.

Whilst drinking the coffee I noticed a Thai chap walk past (I don't think it was the same one) with a massive chain saw slung accross his shoulder and an axe attached to his belt. "I bet he is going to cut down a tree" I said , I don't know what made me think it, intuition maybe (earlier we had seen a helicopter circling the island and we had been led to understand that they were looking for illegal logging). Sure enough the tell-tale sound of the chain saw started off just next to us and the next thing we knew this huge tree (well huge-ish) crashed to ground. He got his axe out and started lopping branches (where does that word come from - lopping?), the owners of the baker went to have a chat and came back to say it was the neighbour - he had decided to build a new bungalow. Yawn - "What shall I do today? I know, I'll build a bungalow - there's a handy tree."

Compare this with the prohibative laws in the UK. Planning permission from a corrupt council followed by Building Regulations on the actual construction checked at regular intervals by ardent young 'do-gooders' or cynical 'jobs-worths'. There that's got that off my chest.

We made it back to the bungalow at about 11 o'clock - 4 hours! Nothing had changed, "Is that a hammock I see, is that the sand, is that the beautiful warm sea, is that a bottle of ice-cold beer, is that the book I am reading, is that the bloody soduko I can't do!?"

I was meditating!