30th January - Thoughts on leaving Chiang Mai

Only 2 weeks until we leave Chiang Mai. Looking forward to going south to the sea, although we are both sure that when we get there we are going to want to come straight back as it is going to be very hot and very expensive!

I feel I have started to settle into a sort of routine, feeling very much how I might feel if I lived here. I couldn't live in Chiang Mai, after a time you really start to notice the dirt, pollution and poverty everywhere and it starts to get you down.

The people are lovely and deserve better politicians. Chiang Mai is run by the mafia according to an article in the 'Chiang Mai News'.

My masseur Mr Nat has two children, a daughter Meeou (12) and a son Mark (10). He was born in Chiang Mai but moved to Gunthep (Bangkok) and trained as a masseur there. He married and had children but his wife left him and the children. He has brought up both children on his own, how? I am struck dumb with admiration.

l-r: Mr Nat (my hero), Mr Hoo (who started it all) and Mr Mark (trying to look supple).

He wants 'Meeou' to go to the Catholic School and is working all hours to give her extra lessons so she can pass the entrance exam. He is very worried, "The fees are very high but I want her to go there so she can make friends with people from 'better' families who have contacts, so she can get a good job" - it made me feel so depressed and angry at the way we in the West impose our materialistic vision on the world. This from a man who works miracles every day 7 days a week 9am - 10pm (that's 13 hours a day) for 125 baht an hour (I think there is family around to look after the children and they are often at the massage 'parlour' (that just doesn't seem the right word does it?).

On one occasion Sue came to observe, it happened to be quite a painful massage for me, I had just been ill and probably shouldn't have gone. At one point he started to sing quietly, it must have been a traditional Thai song because the others soon joined in. It was very quiet and peaceful for a while, just 3 blind people massaging and singing softly, I could feel myself getting quite emotional.

Mr Nat shouldn't have to worry about money, he is doing something that people really appreciate (all the Westerners love him and heap praise on him "my God I feel so wonderful - thank you") and he has all he wants. If any man I have met has inner peace it is him. When I look around and see the poverty I can understand why he is so desperate for his daughter to 'escape', but it is such a shame. I asked him if he listened to music, he has a cd player and some cds but literally he has no time to listen to them!

It feels like the end of something to me at the moment, we have spent all this time just the two of us and when we move south we will be meeting up with people from home, something we are both really looking forward to but I know that at that point I will have reached the bottom of our dive into the unknown and will be starting the slow decompression process towards the surface and England.

Sue ;- the local (so close!).

99% of the time Sue hasn't got a clue where we are or where we are going, sometimes she is so far out I think she is joking. But, for that other 1% she is in control. We hired bikes from the guest house and went to our favourite internet cafe, a journey we have done pretty well every day for the last 4 weeks. On the way home Sue took the lead. Off she set, back ramrod straight (the bikes are the 'sit up and beg' type) with me a bikes length behind and slightly further out into the road to make cars and motorbikes give her a wide berth, I was reminded of a galleon with it's escort vessel. The pace would best be described as sedate.

Squeak...squeak go the pedals, head held high, snooty looks left and right - Huh, look at him he hasn't got a clue where he is........ Huh, bloody tourists.......Huh, when he's been here as long as I have..... squeak...squeak... left.....squeak..... squeak... right ....surreptitious glance behind to check she is going the right way, she doesn't think I notice but each glance is invariably accompanied by a wobble and as any physicist worth his salt will tell you, the slower you go, the bigger the wobble.

Squeak....squeak.... straight on (she should have gone right and then left if she wanted to follow are usual route) squeak.....squeak.......more anxious glances from left to right, squeak ...... squeeek ...... squeeeeek ..... stop. By now it's dark and there is nobody about except for a pack of stray dogs loitering near a menacing looking wall (the prison).... err, where are we! Shame, if she had kept her nerve and taken a right and then a left we would have been in familiar territory. So close!

Mark the local (so close!).

We hired a motorbike to go to Hang Dong. On the way back there were traffic lights about every half km and the cars were nose to tail all the way down. Hundreds of motor bikes had great fun though weaving in and out of the stationery traffic down to the front of the queue at the lights. I felt like Dennis Hopper in Easy-Rider (babe on the back, terrified but excited at my daring and panache) as I 'flung' the bike round the cars, up pavements sometimes down the inside sometimes in the middle and sometimes down the outside looking for that small gap that would get me closer to the front.

It took me a while to understand why the motorbikes all roared off about 3 seconds before the lights changed and then I realised they were watching the other lights and as soon as they went red (no amber over here, that would just add to the confusion) they were off, very clever. And then it happened, I found myself at the front - 'Leader of the Pack' (The Shangri-las - isn't the internet great, I thought it was Diana Ross and the Supremes).

I was a bit tense whilst I waited for the light to go 'red' but the thing is to look casual and unconcerned, chatting to your 'girlfriend' whilst keeping half an eye on the light. Red!! I was away miles before anyone else reacted (hah) ........ that's funny, still no-one else has reacted and why are those motorbikes and cars roaring across my path from the left? OOps, those lights weren't for me. But, with a burst of acceleration we were through and arrived back at the guest house breathless with excitement. So close!

"I am never going on a motorbike with you again!"
(Now that's what I call acceleration - Marlon Brando to Elmer Fudd in one sentence)
"Aahh go on (was that a whine in my voice?), how else are we going to see all the sights"
"OK on one condition...."

......Later

We did the journey to San Patong and back (a round trip of about 70 Km) at a MAX speed of 30 KM per hour. Oh, the shame.

.
Before we set off for Hang Dong. Anticipating heavy traffic.

14th January - Hot Springs and Flat Tyres

We hired a motorbike the other day and went out to some hot springs which were about 20 miles away. We were almost there when we got a flat tyre.Luckily I remembered we had just passed a garage so I slowly drove the bike back whilst Sue walked.
"We have flat tyre," (miming a flat tyre, puffing out cheeks and letting the air out) "do you have air ? (miming air, wafting hands about?)
"No" (a garage with no air?!) "but a man in a shop about 200m back down the road can fix" (why can they all speak English).
Off we went armed with a little map she had drawn and just to make sure a man on a motorbike followed us and pointed out the way we had to go. These Thai people are so helpful and nice, I thought. Sure enough, when we got to the turning there was a large nail hammered into a tree with a bicycle tyre and some old inner tubes on it. What a great sign! We went down a dirt track and there was a rickety old garage with an old truck outside, straight out of 'The Grapes of Wrath' with a sign on the side saying 'Dodge Brothers'.


An old guy came out and I said, pointing at the motorcycle (which I was pushing at the time) "Mai bpai" (no go) - I knew the Thai would come in handy, he would have had no idea about what was wrong without such a succinct summary of the problem. I then mimed flat tyre again and he pointed at another man who was in a hammock and said "mechanic". Over he strolled and set to work. A bowl of water, a compressor and tyre irons were all to hand and in a matter of minutes he had the inner tube out a patch on the hole, checked for more leaks in the water and replaced the tyre. 20 baht!! How cheap is that (30p), I gave him 40 baht (how mean is that!!). He seemed pleased though and settled back into his hammock with a huge joint, it must have been 2 handwidths long and as thick as my index finger.


Off we went,"How lucky we were that he was just there, we are miles from anywhere" I said. "I wonder how we got the puncture" said Sue, "On the tacks he put in the road" I said jokingly. Then it hit me. My God we had noticed the puncture about 400 yards up the road. The main garage had no air but they knew exactly where to send me and made sure I got there. The bowl of water,compressor and patches were suspiciously right where he needed them and come to think of it I didn't notice any other tools........ DodgeBrothers?......Surely not......

By the way I didn't realise hot springs were so hot! We walked to a 'well' with steam coming out of it and loads of people keeping an eye on eggs in baskets that they were cooking, but the common sense part of my brain was obviously switched off and the scientist in me was compelled to stick my hand in the water to test the temperature, I was very brave. Later I noticed a sign saying that the water temperature was 105 degrees centigrade.


In my defence there were lots of children playing in water nearby and running in and out of fountains of water shooting out of the ground. Well I think it is a defence - needless to say Sue didn't. She also pointed out that she saw lots of men do exactly the same thing but no women. I think that just goes to show how women accept everything on face value, whereas men are naturally curious and question even the blindingly obvious!

MarkHEAT - IT WAS BLEADY BEALING!!!

14th January - On Learning Thai

It's easy there is hardly any grammar, just a matter of learning some vocabulary and pronunciation.

I had done a couple of extra hours learning Thai whilst Sue did week 3 of her massage course and was a bit worried about being left behind.

We'll go and have a coffee and go through these flash cards I have made up.

The coffee house was set in a lovely garden and Sue seemed far moreinterested in the birds and flowers than in my cards so when the waitress came over I thought a demonstration of the usefulness of knowing a bit of Thai might help. I explained to her what the cards were and that we were learning Thai. Ah she said " Kun .......?" I was a bit sweaty but - "Pom kit wah Chiang Mai nau nit noi" (I think Chiang Mai is a little cold) I replied(smug mode). "Oh really," she said, "but I asked you how long you have been in Thailand!" "Ah We - have - been - in - Pra Tet (country) Thai -for hok (6) - weeks. We haven't done 'time' or 'been' yet."

Talk about set yourself up.

10th January 2007 - Me! Me! Me!

It's all me, me, me at the moment. Massages followed by lengthy descriptions of my new flexible soft muscles. "Just bend my leg back whilst I lie on my stomach, see how far my leg bends now". "Feel how soft my bum is". "Just rub this Tiger balm into my thigh muscles please". "Look how far my knee bends".
Then there is the trip to the Chinese Doctor followed by the lengthy description of where the needles were and how relaxed I am feeling.
All this topped up with 'tests' on the Thai we are learning. "Just test me on the new words and then I will test you".
Not forgetting, of course, the ongoing lectures on how Sue's Thai massage lessons can help me when we get home and what she should do to make sure she knows what she is doing. "Why don't you do the next two week course and get some more practice in". "How about doing the weekends course and learn foot massage?" "We could convert room 4 into a (my) massage parlour". "Come along to see Mr Knat give me a massage and get him to show you what to do to me".

Not surprising therefore when we were sitting down to breakfast the other day and i was in full flow when Sue suddenly finally cracked and said (with feeling) "For god's sake drink your tea, eat your breakfast and shut up for 5 minutes will you?" - There was a shocked silence then we both cracked up.

Poor Sue.

1st January 2007 - Christmas Day

Me - "Oh my God, it's 7.30! I told you to set the alarm for 7.00!" "Happy Christmas to you too dear." "Oh, sorry."

So started Xmas day 2006, one to be remembered.

Bus arrived at 8.30, 'Mr T' driving wearing a bomber jacket with Duckhams Oil and Silverstone badges on it, so the drive was nice and sedate. 'Mr Chat' was the guide and he did too, was that alcohol I smelt?

First stop -the elephants. Our elephant was called Pupet, he was 50 years old and his mahout had been with him about 3 months. He encouraged him with a series of kicks and long drawn out grunts and a pretty vicious looking hook on the end of a stick (actually come to think of it that was how he encouraged us too). We spent about half an hour on him. I took my shoes off and rested my feet on his back (the elephants) which felt like warm, dry old leather. He stopped twice to go to the toilet (Wow! no prostate trouble for him I think) and once in a stream for a drink. He was huge! There were three of us on his back and a contraption with a seat on it for us and I really don't think he noticed the weight. One surprising fact was that I noticed hardly any smell. At one point the mahout got off and I moved on to his neck!


It cost us 20 baht to feed him bananas at the end, so delicate but so much latent power in the trunk.

Then we had lunch in a hill tribe village. We chatted to Dave and Rema from LA just married and on their Honeymoon. They met in an elevator!

The people around were cutting wood, cultivating small vegetable plots and cooking. It struck me that they had all they needed to survive.


Next the white water rafting! Sue and I did the long ride as we didn't want to visit the hill tribes or go bamboo rafting. This meant we went what seemed miles up the Mai Thang River past loads of rapids before we started. Our guides were Mr Luck and 'Boy' We put on life jackets and then went through the instructions: (We were right at the front Sue on the left, me on the right.
"Forward" - one hand on top of the paddle and the other half way down the handle and paddle.
"Faster" - Paddle like crazy to miss oncoming rock.
"Backwards" - Paddle like crazy backwards to avoid oncoming rock.
"Stop" - assume prayer position whilst guides attempt to avoid oncoming rocks.
"Down" - throw yourself into the bottom of the raft (not much room, so this usually meant me throwing myself on top of Sue, who was invariably first down by a mile) because we were going to hit an oncoming rock.
"On the job" - struggle back up to a sitting posiotion ready for the next set of oncoming rocks.
"Left" - Sue leans back and I throw myself across Sue's lap to stop the raft capsizing.
"Right" - I lean back and Sue throws herself across my lap to stop the raft capsizing.

Off we went, first rapid - "Down" so we threw ourselves into the bottom of the raft just as huge wave came into the raft - very funny. We were 2 hours going down the rapids which included one grade 4. Finished soaked to the skin, bruised toe nail for me and two broken nails for Sue but a high five with the guides and rice whisky from a bamboo cup. The water was very cold and at one point, just before the grade 4 the guide looked ahead to see how others were doing and then reminded us about the instructions to throw ourselves left and right to keep the raft balanced and to make sure we floated face up in the river if we fell out, you should have seen Sue's
face. Off we went - "Right" - I leaned back and just managed to catch Sue as she threw herself right across me and nearly straight out of the raft. - "Left" - I threw myself to the left and just managed to catch Sue as she threw herself left too, and nearly out of the raft. The worst bit was what I swear was 4 foot verticle drop when someone shouted "Back" - I hope he meant throw yourself backwards becuase that was what we did.

We shared a songteauw home with some guys who had been on a three day trek and were looking forward to a shower - a sentiment a heartily agreed with.

When we got back we had a great herabal sauna to warm up then rang the family at home. It was about 8.00pm here.

Then back to the room to cap off a perfect day by ...going straight to sleep.

Mark

29th December 2006 - Ying and Yang

I am having acupuncture treatment now as well as Thai massage, my body doesn't know what's hit it!

I went in and laid on a couch and the lady Doctor asked me how I felt. "Well I have Tinnitus in my left ear and a chronic pain in my right knee, but apart from that I am OK, Digestion Ok and regular bowel movements every morning. Oh and I have a pain in my groin, since you ask (where did that come from?)"

"I am going to treat your tinnitus and your knee and also give you some general treatment to 'correct the im-balance in your Ying and Yang'". So I laid back and tried to relax whilst she put the needles in, I hardly felt a thing. There were 15 needles altogether and afterwards she left me to 'meditate' for half an hour during which time I had some strange sensations in my ears and wrists but no pain and used the time to concentrate on the air going in and out of my nose and to think about where my Ying and Yang were and why nobody had told me they weren't balanced.
Sue came in half way through to look at me and take some photographs, she said I looked like the character 'Pinhead' in the Horror movies. Afterwards the doctor told me not to go swimming as I might sink and to come back twice a week for further treatment. No real change in how I felt afterwards although Sue did say my Ying definitely looked smaller.

23rd December 2006 - Visa Run

Tourist visa's last 60 days and then you have to leave the country. Our first 60 days ran out on the 17th December so we booked to go to Luang Prabang in Laos. 7 Hour bus journey up up up to Chiang Khong on the border. Then a 2 day river trip down the Mekong to Luang Prabang, a bit like a very long water slide. The Mekong is the 12th longest river in the world, it starts in Tibet and goes out into the South China Sea in Vietnam a distance of 3000 miles, we covered about 100 miles.
We stayed over night in Chiang Khong on the banks of the Mekong, looking at Laos on the other side.

Next day after lots of stamping of visas and official posturing we got on the boat and sat down on a wooden bench (we had bought a cushion each for 50 baht) on the shady side, I had cleverly worked this out in advance so we didn't get too hot, what a mistake that turned out to be.

There was a group of 20+ year olds who took over the space at the front of the boat. One in particular caught my eye, lets call him Mr Personality. He spent the whole two days being the centre of attention within the group, photographing and being photographed at every available
opportunity (do I sound bitter?!).

The first day we were in the boat 6 hours, left at 12.00 and arrived at 6.00pm freezing cold, after about 4.00pm the wind got up and everyone got all the clothes they could find out of their bags to put on. We had decided to travel light and left all the heavy warm stuff back in Chiang Mai. We stopped overnigt at Pak Beng where the electricity comes on at 6.00pm (when the boats arrive) and goes off again at 9.00 (when we all go to bed), wierd - candles everywhere, restaurants all trying to tempt us in, the heady smell of marijuana and the sound of generators.

We dreaded the next day but in the event it was much better, warmer, better
seats and we sat on the sunny side.

We saw a dead body floating down the river (what!). It was high in the water and face down. I remember that the foot was moving up and down in the wake as the boat passed by. The reaction on the boat was one of disbelief. "What's that?" "Was that a dead body?" "Did you see that?" and then everyone went quiet. The driver gave it a wide berth but there was no change in the engine noise and we just carried on. A couple of minutes later we passed some fishermen on the bank. I wondered how they would react when 'it' passed by.
Dead body, why do we call it that? Why not a dead man or dead woman, do we want to disassociate ourselves so quickly from thoughts of death that we talk about 'a' dead body as though 'it' has nothing to do with us anymore. "We saw 'a' live body in the river and the driver pulled over so we could rescue 'it'." It was a surreal experience.

Luang Pra Bang was beautiful, no traffic but cold.

We bumped into Mr Personality (and entourage) at a waterfall outside the city and on top of a hill looking round a Wat. He was really nice (he would be wouldn't he, why can't he just give me one reason to despise him). He was also going to the airport at the same time as us, but he was catching a plane to Bangkok thank goodness. I think the real reason why I didn't like him was because I don't like competition.

Mr Personality at the waterfall - hang on...that's me!

Then we flew back to Chiang Mai in 1 hour!

Our own personal jet? No, just late again.

23rd December 2006 - Motorbike Theft

I came out of the guesthouse with my rucksack and list of jobs from Sue, go to immigration to sort out the visa extension, check the currency we need for Laos, get some more showergel (my head was spinning) and walked over to the bike. Huh? no bike. There was a space and if there had been a cream cake dessert in it I would have looked inside. "That's funny, it was here last night". I walked around looking outside the massage place and the coffee shop, in case I had left it there and walked home by accident (those of you who know me will realise that that was not as stupid an idea as it sounds). Finally I had to admit to myself that it had been stolen, so off I trudged to the shop to break the news (our liability was 40, 000 baht!). At any one time I should say that a conservative estimate of the number of motorbikes like mine would be about 100,000 so the chances of it being found were surely zero.

"Ah, Mr Mark, you lucky man, the police came round to say they had stopped 2 people on your bike and it is at the police station"! Unbelievable! I am beginning to think that the Jackson luck is a real phenomenon that could do with some serious scientific study. I spent the day being ferried around between 2 police stations and the shop the son of the owner. They didn't actually talk to me but there was lots of pointing and 'ferang''s flying about (their word for foreigner). It cost me 1400 baht. 400 to replace the number plate (That's why they stopped them, the idiots removed it when they stole it!!) and crash helmet and 1000 to the guy who ferried me here there and everywhere. I was due to pay another thousand as a 'thankyou/ bribe' to the policeman when I collected the bike but even after a whole day they
wouldn't let us have it.

Which reminds me of another story. A guy in the Internet cafe had his credit card stolen by someone he thought was a friend. he then got a phone call from a night club in Bagkok to say they had been presented with his card that night and when it was refused the guy who used it ran off and could they please have the 6000 baht for the bill! When he pointed out that he was in Chiang Mai and the card was stolen so he wasn't going to pay, they described the man (a one armed black Japanese guy) he realised it was his friend that had stolen the card (although how he knew from that description I don't know). Guess what, the guy turned up again in Bangkok. What would
you have done at that point....

a) Go to the police, or
b) Tell him that the police would ask for a massive bribe, so if he gave you
15 000 baht you would forget all about it?

I had heard about bribing the police but now I know it is true.

18th December 2006 - People Watching

Had a reply to one of my notices yesterday, 5 or more Thai students want me to teach them, Oh my God.

I spent 5 and a half hours today just observing my fellow human beings, what a luxury that is.

Mr Hoo gave me my 3rd massage in consecutive days (I am Mr Mark). His name is Hoo (Mr Hoo), he is blind, 25 years old and has been doing massage for 10 years! I think he is the massage centre's extrovert because he never stops talking and making all the others laugh. I arrived early so sat and watched proceedings, there were 8 blind masseurs there some laying around on the massage beds, some sitting about and others doing massages. One (I think he was the manager) sat behind the desk and got out something that looked like a crib scoring board and a peg. Then he got out packs of plastic vouchers (you get one to give to the masseur when you pay) and counted them. Each time he finished a pack he moved the peg on one place. All was going smoothly until he took the elastic band off one and they slipped out of his hand onto the floor. I offered to pick them up but he either didn't hear me or ignored me so I carried on watching. He just left them and moved on to another pack. By this time Mr Hoo was ready for me so I laid down on my back and continued to observe. He finished counting the cards and then picked up the cards on the floor, counting as he went, so he must have known how many there should have been. Then he counted the money in a black zip wallet and put everything away and locked the drawer. About half an hour later a big 4x4 arrived and out climbed a very well dressed blind lady (from the passenger side!). They all knew her and it became apparent that it was pay day! A sighted person arrived who sat at the desk and counted the cards and money and filled in a ledger. So the manager had been checking everything was in order (isn't it great how you can make a story out of a situation just by watching). There was lots of laughter and touching as they moved around each other in a sort of dance, being blind hardly seemed more than a small inconvenience (as you will see).
About half way through my massage I observed 2 of them go out (the manager and one other) and mess around for a while putting their shoes on before going off somewhere arm in arm (famous proverb comes to mind), a little while later they came back and the manager came in felt my feet and then came round the side of the bed to see me. I must be able to put up with the pain better, because he said "Mr Mark, Mr Mark, are you asleep?" Asleep!! I spat out the pillow and said (as casually as I could manage) "No". "Oh I like your shoes outside, I was wondering where you got them". "Oh yes" I said "from the walking market at a stall near the end. (It then occurred to me that he would never find it.) Would you like me to take you there?" "Oh yes that would be nice." So we arranged to go the following Saturday night at 9.00pm when the market was open.
It is amazing how fast a 2 hour massage passes when you have so much to observe, as he is blind I can watch Mr Hoo really closely as he speaks, observing his smile and the way he forms the words, I am going to have to learn some Thai and practice on him.

Afterwards I went to a Wat and sat waiting for the arrival of the High Lama for Thailand, it is a bit like the Archbishop of Canterbury coming to Norwich Cathedral, can you imagine the fuss there! He was late, very late. I sat there 2 and a half hours but again it was fascinating watching what was going on. It seemed to be mainly monks one side and the rest of us the other. People were constantly coming and going, bringing flowers and gifts and putting them on tables. The monks were all chatting to each other, one monk in particular caught my eye because he could only have been about 4 foot six tall yet all the other monks were treating him with the utmost respect. At one point a Thai in a brilliant white uniform complete with hat and medals came and knelt before him to talk to him. He held his hands constantly in the Wai position (like a prayer) and kept his head bowed and below the monk's, but the talking seemed very informal with lots of laughter. After a while another monk came and knelt before the monk too, it was obvious that he wanted to make sure he was lower than the other monk, but this meant the poor Services guy had to go even lower so as not to be above the second monk, he was practically lying on the floor!




Eventually I could hear a procession approaching with a band playing and lots of monks arrived followed by school children and a car covered in ribbons pulling a trailer with a throne on it, a framed scroll, a golden umbrella and some sort of emblem on a long pole. The procession proceeded down the aisle right past me followed by a couple more small inconspicuous monks. Where was the high Lama? He had been one of the monks, I wasn't even sure which one! I can't imagine being allowed in if the Archbishop of Canterbury visited Norwich, let alone occupy a seat right by the iaisle(? not sure how to spell it, no dictionary, microsoft word is in Thai, i am the only Englishman here and worst of all, no Sue! So that is my best guess), and I am fairly sure it would have been obvious who he was. So many people were there including monks who couldn't find a seat and I was the only Westerner I could see, so after a while I crept out and left them to it.

Altogether an interesting day. Have I mentioned that most of the men spend at least a few months of their lives as monks? The Thais are so respectful of each other and always make you feel welcome. Some of the large rude disrespectful Westerners you see make you feel so ashamed. The Thais that serve them are just as friendly and respectful but I can't help wondering what they are thinking, I just hope they don't judge us all in the same way we do "Bloody immigrants coming over here stealing all our jobs"

13th December 2006 - Cookery Course

Sue and I are now experts in Thai Cooking and we have certificates to prove it from the Gap's Cookery School.

There were only 3 of us. Sue myself and Rachel (who comes from Hawaii). We went round a market and then to a lovely garden with about 20+ little gas hobs set under a canopy. There we met Joe who has many years experience as a chef in Thailand.

We made: Green curry paste (from scratch), Chicken and green curry in coconut milk, Red curry, Pad Thai, Spring Rolls, Tom Yam and a Green Desert.

"Is eeeaaasy. You say to me, Joe how much chilli i put in? I don't know, you feel it in here (bangs chest above heart) mnaaaaaahhhhhhh (he finished most sentences with this long drawn out sort of laugh)". "You taste. Too Spicy? Put in a little stock. Too sour? put in a little sugar, too sweet? put in a little fish sauce! Is eeeeaaaasy, mnaaaaaahhhhhhhhh". The soup was the best one, we made the basic soup and brought it to the table where Joe was sitting. "OK you taste soup......what is like?" "Water", we say. "Mnaaaaahhhh (points at all the spices etc. on the table) OK you put in some chilli, you say Joe, how much chilli and I say, I don't know, your friends they say oh Joe is too hot I no like mnaaaahhhhhh. So what you do?" We shrug. "Is eeaaassyyyyyy, you give them soup and put the chilli and sugar and fish sauce on the table mnaaaahhhhh. Then they say- too salty? Add sugar. Too sweet?........mmmnnnnaaaaahhhhh. Is easy right?"

He does this every day of the week. Quite early on when we asked if he ate this food he said, "If you ask me to taste your green curry, I kill you,mmnaaaahhhhh!"

For every dish we did we went through the ingredients. He would ask us to turn to a page and then start talking "Green curry - we know thaaaaattt!, Galangal - what's this? (he would then show us), stock, we know thaaatt, " It took me 2 dishes to realise he was running through the ingredients in the recipe because he wasn't looking at the book (he knew it by heart.) and because he wasn't looking at the book, neither was I. I was looking at him wondering what the hell he was talking about! It was obvious (afterwards) that he was reading the list of ingredients, (after all he had just told us the page number) but, because he didn't look at the page I didn't make the connection between what he was saying and the page in front of me! Now you might think I was just being stupid (and you may be right) but there is an important point here, he assumed we would realise he was reading the ingredients because it was obvious to him.

This is a problem when teaching maths (and English!!) when you describe something or give an instruction, YOU know what you are talking about, you have a mental picture of the concept involved and the danger is that you assume the person you are talking to is coming at it from the same place you are and can therefore follow your train of thought, because it is obvious to him. But, if they are not thinking about things in the same way you are or if some basic idea at the start of an instruction is missing, the whole thing goes to pot.

30th November - Massage & Buddhism

Finally plucked up the courage for another massage. Went to a famous nerve touch massage school. Run by a woman (recently retired) who has traveled to the States to give seminars and has 40+ years of experience. Her son, Jack, is now the new master and I have a session booked with him on Saturday. Meanwhile his assistant gave me a massage today. He started off really gently but gradually I got the feeling he was determined to make me bend come what may. He got me into what I can only describe as WWF wrestling holds and then I could feel him building up momentum before launching
himself and me into classic 'Thai massage' positions (look them up on the web - http://www.nervetouch.com/engmenu.html - this is the actual school I went to). I could imagine him thinking, "I am going to get this b---- to 'click' if it is the last thing I do". I don't know who was more surprised when the sum total of his efforts was a meager 1 - 2 cm away from the horizontal in any direction. I think I must be the stiffest human in Chiang Mai.

Monday 4th December
Sue started her Thai massage course today so I am alone In Chiang Mai. What to do? I know watch a film on the TV and then go to the Internet cafe brilliant, sometimes my daring and resourcefulness quite takes my breath away!
I hope Sue enjoys the course, I really want her to get something out of this trip because I sometimes think all this is my fault, I am going through a massive mid-life crisis and Sue (bless her) would much rather be at home on the golf course.

Last night we stayed at the Bamboo Hut, hostel. Neither of us got a wink of sleep, the bed was a piece of hardboard on top of which was a mattress no thicker than a piece of toilet paper, soft toilet paper like.... (well known brand that uses a golden retriever puppy in it's adverts whose name I have totally forgotten, all I can think of is Dulux but that's not right - Duracel? No). On top of that it squeaked whenever you moved - how could that be there was nothing to squeak!!

We went to Doi Suthep Wat yesterday for a quiet walk outside the city. It was heaving! Took some good photos and the motorbike ride back down the hill was great fun. There were 304 steps up to the top and that was after a 10km motorcycle ride up a steep road.

Northern tribe children on the steps singing for money

The view was breathtaking, we were looking down on planes taking off and landing from the airport and the planes took some time to reach our height.

I was impressed (again) with the attitude of the Thais. They seem to have so much fun. This temple is one of the most Holy in Thailand but everyone was just milling around, drinking, laughing, talking on mobiles (and that was just the monks!).

As long as you didn't climb on the Buddhas or point the bottom of your feet at them when you sat down (quite difficult for me and involved rather a tortuous and complicated maneuver that required a lot more space than most people) it seemed that anything goes.

There were bells and gongs around that everyone was 'bonging' away at and hordes of people carrying flowers and joss-sticks patiently waiting their turn to place in front of a Buddha. So much better than in our country, can you imagine what would be going on at our most sacred place. You wouldn't be able to move for 'Keep Off' and 'Don't Touch' signs. And woe betide you if you happen to have a tickle in your throat that may lead to a ...... COUGH (I know, too shocking isn't it). Why do we have to be so serious about everything?
Jesus (oops) lighten up!

Mark

23rd November 2006 - Massage Bangkok Style

Back in Bangkok but only for a couple of days. Had my first real 'Thai' massage yesterday.

In we went and Sue persuaded me to go for the 2 hr full on tie you in knots Thai massage (pun intended) so I got changed into some fetching yellow fisherman pants (all the rage over here) and a lime green silk top and laid down in this darkened room. In came this petite Thai girl who asked why "You not want oil massage?" I tried to explain but it was too difficult so I agreed to change "OK you remove all clothes now", "What - all?" "Yes, yes".

Here you have to remember I had already experienced the Thai's seeming indifference to nudity, so not wishing to seem prudish I complied even though she stayed in the room as I did it. I performed the 'difficult' maneuver by lying on the bed, putting a towel over myself and then removing the pants from underneath, thus protecting my dignity. She knelt down next to me and whipped away the towel with a sort of 'we won't be needing this' attitude and I thought OK, what do I do now? What would people I know do? I couldn't think of anything that would have helped (the only person I could think of was Billy and I thought hopping down the corridor trying to pull my pants on as I went was less than dignified) so i just tried to appear as though it was the most natural thing in the world to be lying stark naked an a bed with a young girl kneeling next to me.

Luckily it was an oil massage (luckily!? I here you say) because I was soon covered in so much oil it was impossible for her to feel how much I was sweating.

She started on the right leg massaging right up to the top (the odd 'brush with destiny' was surely an accident). Then she cupped my testicles in her hand and said "Some people like to be massaged here." and giggled (You feel shocked? - how do you think I felt!).

Actually, I cannot believe how calm I felt, I laughed (at least I think I laughed) and said "Oh do they? Well not me". A bit more giggling and she carried on massaging the leg. Phew I thought, glad I made that clear, how maturely I am handling this.

Then she moved to the other leg. It was a bit odder this time because I couldn't help thinking she may have an ulterior motive. then without so much as a by your leave she 'grabbed me' and flopped it about like a conger eel, well eel, well worm, well OK maggot and said "Mr has very good control" and then giggled again. Oh my god this is getting (getting!!) out of control. "No really, I do just want a massage, really, please." More giggling and then she did my stomach and shoulders, "Mr is a bit tense, relax." I really think she meant it too, the whole thing was so normal to her, it was bizarre.

She turned me over and except for a few more dodgy moments when she did the backs of my legs, having first found out how far apart she could get them, the rest of the hour passed without 'incident'.

Did I mention that Sue was just across the corridor? I came out and sat down next to her in the waiting area.
Masseur - "Would you like something to drink sir?" "No thanks"
Sue - "Are you sure?" "Yes", "Did you enjoy that?" "It was OK", "Are you all right?" "Yes, can we go now?"

Jesus!

Looking back I wonder if my main mistake was offering a 100 baht tip before the massage began.

"You idiot, are you mad?" Were just some of Sue's comments when I mentioned this small detail.

This traveling is too much sometimes, I am going to spend a few days lying in a darkened room.

Moral ----- Goodness knows, I don't expect anyone who is reading this would have got into the same pickle that I did, so I wouldn't worry.

It's a funny old world.

Mark

(Definitely no photo to follow!)

19th November - Lost in Translation

Just a quick email, the reason I lost the other email was that I must have pressed a key by mistake when looking up a quote from the Lonely Planet guide. It was taken from one of the museums in Kanchanaburi and concerned some of the strange English translations you sometimes get here;

I hope it causes no offense and that (like me) you take it in a lighthearted way and do not think it disrespectful.

... a reference to the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima for example,
reads 'Almost the entire city was destroyed in a jiffy'.

Classic.

17th November 2006 Fishing in Kanchanaburi

Bum! I have just finished an email and lost the lot!

This time I will save as a draft.

We are in Kanchanaburi staying on a raft on the river Kwai. Ours is the furthest raft out and faces west, great views! We sat out last night taking in the atmosphere and thinking about the history when we heard music drifting down the river towards us. Into view hove a raft the size of a small village with a load of people singing karaoke! They were screeching something in Chinese as they passed, how crass! Unbelievable that they would let something like that go on in a place like this....... Sue and I have booked for tomorrow night, we'll show them a bit of British culture, Chaz and Dave - Rabbit, Rabbit! should do it.

Got up this morning and put on my armour for the day: Shower followed by 'Prickly Heat' talc on those important bits, factor 30 on anything likely to be exposed and factor 8 everywhere else (you can never tell). This was followed by a quick run through the mosquito repellent dip and then dressed in long fishermans trousers and a tee-shirt (yes I know it has short sleeves but factor 30 remember!). On top - sunglasses and my old boy safari hat later an ill-fitting crash helmet completed the ensemble. Sue? A quick rub down with cooking oil, a bikini top and white shorts. The irony is that I know I will be the one to get sunburnt as at some point I always think, "Oh to hell with this!" and go out totally unprotected!

At breakfast we saw a man with a half inflated car inner-tube, a snorkel and a harpoon-gun. He was fully dressed and wearing wellies (was this some sort of style competition!). He swam out into the river and I dashed back to get my camera. When I returned I scanned the river side for a sign without luck until Sue tapped me on the shoulder and pointed him out, right in front of me - lying dead still face down in the water on top of the inner-tube.

We also saw a monitor lizard right outside our bedroom swimming along. It stopped right in front of us. Black and Yellow and a good 5 feet long (why have you never got the camera when you need it).

Hired a motorbike and spent the whole day getting lost for only 280 baht (including petrol). Sue must be getting used to me driving now as I distinctly remember being able to breathe out more easily (breathing in is no problem).

Opposite where I am now is a shop advertising 'Nong Air Massage' just goes to show the power of imagination. Maybe they can equally imagine I have given them 400 baht!

Mark and Sue

15th November 2006 - Cabbages & Condoms

Back in Bangkok, if you are ever here try 'Suk11' backpackers lodge on Sukhumvit Road Soi 11, it is a great place. In the style of old Thai wooden rooms off corridors that remind you of something out of Dickens. The area is great too. We are sitting in a restaurant called 'Cabbages and Condoms' which is one of a small chain in Asia promoting safe sex. The lampshades, table decorations and most other things are made of - you guessed it - condoms.
Christmas presents for home sorted!
Did the tourist thing today visiting the 'Grand Palace' and 'Wat Pho', pretty impressive and we didn't get ripped either, funny how soon you feel like old hands, we even gave some poor guy advice about the 'Tuk Tuk' drivers, "Oh yes, you have to be careful about who you talk to. When you have been in Bangkok as long as we have....."

Had a great hair cut yesterday, I now have less hair than the budhist monks! She kept giggling as she removed all evidence of hair from my head, in my ears and up my nose, I wasn't expecting that! All for 200 baht (rip).

Off to the 'Bridge over the River Kwai' tomorrow, the area is supposed to be beautiful but the railway was built at a huge cost. I seem to be contemplating the contrast between the beauty of the country and the negative impact of mankind a lot at the moment.

It is Sue's birthday next week so we have booked in to a swish hotel right on the river for 2 nights. I won't tell you the price as the act of writing it down would be too shameful but heh you are only ..... once! Bless her, she deserves it for putting up with me, I wouldn't.

13th November 2006 - Phuket

Still in Phuket but moving on tomorrow. There is so much going on at night here it is too much for my aging senses. Lights flashing, signs everywhere offering all sorts of things, suits, massages, food, drinks, I am just glad I am with Sue otherwise goodness knows what else would be on offer. But what an amazing country, the smells, sounds and sights assault the senses from everywhere. We hired a moped today and did some exploring, the road system is organised chaos, you drive on the left like in the UK but there the resemblance ends. I would say the ratio of mopeds to cars is easily 20 to 1 and they come at you from all sides and directions but I loved it! Much more liberating than the boring highway code we have at home. Its everyman for himself and I soon learnt that the best guide is - if in doubt just keep going! How many times do you drive along a road and glancing left notice an elephant waiting in a side road for you to pass!

We saw some traditional Thai dancing last night, they are such a graceful people, I felt that all the westerners there were like clumsy oafs, burping and stumbling our way through their country with no regard for their culture or politeness. Of course that is a generalisation but I do wonder what they think of us. Maybe when I have been in one place for a while I will find out!

Went to the cape at the bottom of Phuket tonight the best place to see the sunset. Unfortunately there was a race between the sun reaching the horizon and a bank of cloud passing over our heads heading west. The clouds won. Still it was a lovely place, spoilt only by a loud group at the table next to us where one lady proceeded to tell her friends (among other things too numerous to mention) that she was into dousing and weegee boards and that she must like her new friends as she doesn't normally like talking about this because she doesn't want people to think she is a 'freeko' (her words). Apparently she didn't mind everyone at the restaurant trying to enjoy the sunset knowing either!

I find myself torn between loving my fellow humans and hating them with a passion!

Mark

10th November 2006 - Railay to Karon Beach

We are on Karon beach, just along the way from Patong beach (the sex centre of Thailand,outside Bangkok). We are staying at a little guest house but thinking already of moving on. It is far too busy after the peace and quiet of Railay. One good thing is that we have found Interenet access for 20 baht unlimited!

About Thai massages. An oil massage given by sweet little thai girls who remove all your clothes and then cover nearly all of you in oil are very pleasant if embarrasing.They do cover you with strategically placed corners of flannel like towels which are sadly plenty big enough.

Thai massages given by older more heavily built thai women however are another matter. You know when you tenderise meat by pummeling it with a wooden mallet? The masseur (what an innocent name) carefully places your skeleton into a locked position (like a wrestling hold) and then proceeds to roll your muscles against the bone to iron out the knots, apparently the tighter you are the more painful it is and I know no-one tighter than I am! I made the mistake of mentioning my knee which has been stiff and painful for the last 30 years. Lek (my masseur in Railay), who calls me PaPa said "Today I make PaPa cry". The pain was unbelievable, and that was the good leg! Her fingers were like blunt knives seeking out the particularly tender areas, "You feel that PaPa?" "Hell yes!" "You feel a tingling in your knee?"(As she forced her elbow into my groin) "Well,I might be able to if I could get past the pain where your elbow is". Things clicked and cracked all around my body and particularly around my knee, yet I had total confidence in her. She barely touched my actual knee but worked on the muscles, tendons and veins(her words) around it. The only time I came near to tears was at the end when I stood up. My knee felt freer than at any time I can remember, it felt so good I almost cried. It will never be normal, but now I feel it could be better,which is great.

Found a nice restaurant called the 'Red Onion' the same name as a place we used in Prague!

Now, do we stay here a few days or fly to Bangkok or go back to Railay? We met a nice couple last night Mika and Annie from Finland. We have swapped emails, they are going to come and stay with us in England (they have never been there) and we are going to stay in their cottage by a lake and use their wood burning sauna, which reminded me of a great film - 'The Cuckoo'.

By the way, this guy in Railay, called Jupe, was playing great music at his bar - Ben Harper - Greatest hits. check it out.

Take care, Mark

1st November 2006 - The Sanctuary 2

We leave the Sanctuary today, bound for Railay beach in Krabbi. Long boat to Had Rin, Taxi to Thong Sala, night boat to Suratani, bus to Krabbi and then long boat to Railay (phew), total cost 900 baht each and it will take about 20 hours. We need to get away before 5th November when about 10,000 people are expected to descend on Had Rin for the full moon party, not my idea of fun, and actually not for most of the people we have met so far.

The bill came to about 10,000 baht for 4 days which was a bit over our budget!!

The Sanctuary is the vision of a lady called Jill who spends about 8 months of the year here and the rest of the time at 'home' in London. It is built into a jumble of rocks and jungle and it has taken 20 years to turn it into a beautiful sanctuary (I can think of no better word to describe it). You can walk here from Had Rin but it is a real hike so you can say that it is really only accessible by boat. The people who work here all live in and originate from the NE of Thailand. They live in bungalows even further up the jungle path than we are and it is not unknown to see cobras up there!

The restuarant/ bar is on about three levels, using platforms at various points within the rocks. They play music and even bring out a big screen for films, we watched 'Shaun of the Dead' last night for Halloween and some people really dressed up for the occasion.

We had a firefly in our hut last night! It flew around outside the mosquito net for a while, amazingly bright and the light pulsed bright and dim without ever going out. It didn't make a noise either which made it an even more eerie effect. Total darkness, jungle noises and this pulsating light drifting around the room.

29th October 2006 - The Sanctuary

Hi all, we are at the Sanctuary on a beach at Had Thien in Kho Phangan and I have just had a Thai massage and feel great. This is a wonderful retreat that is not widely advertised but it comes recommended through word of mouth (thanks Karen). You can use a wellbeing clinic which involves fasting (not farting) for a number of days and undergoing self administered colonic irrigations twice daily. I must admit I am 'sorely'(excuse the pun) tempted but I think I will wait until we come again.
I can write this email whilst offline which is good because we are going way over budget on every other count!

We have met lots of people who are teaching English, usually in Bangkok. It seems like every time we ask someone what they are doing they say they are over here for 1 or 2 years and are teaching having had no experience beforehand. Apparently women are really in demand, so it looks like Sue is going to be keeping me! All that hard work in Prague was a waste of time - not really, I wouldn't have missed it for
anything.

Our room is in the middle of a treed area, it is like living in a tree house and the noise of the insects, frogs and animals last night was deafening. When the noise did diminish it was replaced by the sound of waves on the beach below.I never thought I would be lying in a bed under a mosquito net in the middle of a tropical jungle (or so it seemed), we both feel very lucky to be here. There was a large ghecko on the wall when we arrived back and we have seen fireflies and wasp like insects that are an amazing blue colour.

The meals are simple but delicious, my rice dish was served in a hollowed out pineapple and Sue had a Mackerel that we both fondly imagined to have been caught on the beach that day.

Arriving was fun, we got our rucksacks onto the truck at our last stop and went over the 'mountain' again to Thong Sala and then from there by another taxi to Had Rin - the place of the full moon parties! There we went to the beach and bartered with a guy to take us round the headland to Had Thein. A Canadian from Vancouver (they seem to get everywhere!) joined us and off we went for only 150 baht each - Not. It broke down as soon as we left, I think the fuel line broke (lucky it was then and not as we passed the rocks on the way out!). So we drifted back in the 'driver' asked for 3oo baht to go and get some petrol (talk about living hand to mouth) so off he went having made sure we wouldn't defect and there we sat as the storm clouds gathered and all the other boats loaded up and made there way out to sea. Eventually he came back, by now the wind was up and the waves were building, Sue's face was a picture.
Off we went at high speed, i couldn't decide if it was raining or it was just the sea spray but by the time we arrived we were soaked. Still we caused some entertainment for the people in the Sanctuary Restaurant as we waded ashore with our stuff. I would have helped but I was too busy taking photos of Sue as she splashed around joyfully in the surf.

We are here until next Wednesday in Bungalow 7.

We have just stopped to chat to a vision in a sarong who said she is doing the 7 day fast and she is on the fourth day, this is the second year she has done it and it is the best thing we could do - oh well if it's the best thing then.....ready Sue? Sue?!

26th October 2006 - In the Swing at Central Cottage

We are both very much ok. I get up in the morning about 9.30, sweep the hut free of sand and wash the shower room floor (like being in the caravan again). We then stroll 10 yds to the sea for a swim and then an exhausting 20 yds for breakfast, followed by a snooze on the beach, sweep the hut again,lay in the hammock and read or play the guitar, lunch, swim , siesta.....get the picture?

We have met some really nice people Andy from Switzerland who's Dad is a doctor but they don't get on. Apparently he is very rich, thinks nothing of drinking a 500 pound bottle of wine and his cellar runs to 7000 bottles! He despairs of Andy though who just travels, relaxes and says "Bloody Hell" a lot. There is also Sylvia (Andys friend), Svika (who is into rieki healing) and Michaela the last two from Israel, she's 6ft tall a grahic designer and very supple (she even made the Thai masseurs cringe).

The Thai massage was good, but very soft, I said I wanted the full 'bifta' today so we shall see. I may be queuing with all the rest for some reiki healing afterwards.

England seems a long way away now and not just geographically.

A couple of weeks of this and then i think we will be ready for 'The Sanctuary' - Colonic irrigation and all.

Going to hire a motorbike tomorrow, should be fun.

(Photos to follow)

23rd October 2006 - Night Bus to Surat Thani

Sitting in an internet cafe right on the beach in Thong Nai Pan Yai, our bungalow is literally on the beach and I will go to sleep tonight to the sound of waves lapping on the beach, can't wait.

The journey was an adventure. I wanted to be at the front because Sue suffers from travel sickness so I had it all planned, she would carry the two day rucksacks so she could get to the front of the queue and I would take the two big rucksacks and the guitar to the luggage area of the coach which was parked just outside the station - NOT. We formed a crocodile with me following the driver, one pack on my back the other in my arms and my guitar crossways so it could knock stray pedestrians and other unfortunates into the road as I struggled to keep up. Sue suggested I stop so she could help but the "No thanks" through gritted teeth was enough for her to realise this was a macho thing. Half a mile later we finally reached the coach Sue was first on - up the stairs , loads of people already on and the front seat was reserved anyway. That's the last time I try and be first, last is best every time.

Left Bangkok at 7.00pm last night arrived at the beach about 2.00pm today. There was a bit of road rage on the way, reminded me of 'Duel' Stephen Speilberg. This battered lorry overtook blasting his horn then pulled in front and slowed right down, the driver tried to overtake but he kept blocking us, at one point our driver even tried to overtake on the hard shoulder! We eventually got past, no idea what it was all about; boredom?

I think we are going to like it here, got chatting to a couple of Canadians from Ontario, Kevin and Jenny plus some others on the boat where we 'jammed' on the guitars! (Yes ,me!!). We were right at the front so nobody could hear anything we played above the noise of the engine and the sea including us which probably helped.

We are now going to have a Thai massage and then off to the nearest chiropractor for traction!

mark and sue.

(Again photos later)

21st October 2006 - 'Ripped' in Bangkok

Spent a couple of hours studying the 'Lonely Planet' this morning and then went out and promptly got ripped! 400 baht for a 5 min. boat ride and then a 40 baht journey on a tuk tuk to a couple of retail outlets. It wouldn't have been so bad if these were not two of the things the guide specifically warned us against! It was so bad all we could do was laugh and go and lay down in our hostel room for a while. God, this back packing life is tough.

After we had recovered we went by river taxi (30 baht for half an hour!) to the railway station, we met this really nice man on the way who said his daughter lived in England and the station was shut but not to worry for only 20 baht (each) he could get us a tuk tuk to a really helpful tourism office, how kind so we got into...... no actually with a nudge from Sue I cottoned on at last and with profuse apologies to him for all his trouble we walked round the corner to a bustling staion full of people and queues at the ticket office. No train tomorrow, they were all full!! but a really helpful man who knew someone who lived in England showed us to a tourist office (you can guess our scepticism - well Sue's) but it turned out he could help so we have booked a coach trip to Surat Thani and then on to Ko Pha Ngan as well as booking two nights in a bungalow on the beach for only 3100 baht(about 45 pounds) - we shall see. In theory it leaves at 1900 hours tomorrow night!!

Found the hostel 'At Home' that Alasdair suggested so when we finally come back to Bangkok, feeling wiser and poorer that looks like the place, only 380 baht per night(just over 5 pounds). Actually I don't know why I keep doing the math(s) for you, the exchange rate is about 70 baht to the pound, do it yourselves! I think we will know we have arrived when we start thinking in baht, when we get back home still thinking in baht the shock will probably kill us, 210 baht for one beer!

20th October 2006 - We've Arrived!

Well here we are on the Kho San road (probably spelt wrong) in Bangkok, the equivalent to Oxford St in London staying at a hostel called Buddy Lodge. We just went across the road to a bar where a guy was playing Bob Dylan, Tracy Chapman,Cat Stevens, Bob Marley (you would have loved it Nick, Ian, Al in fact all of you) I bought him a beer and felt full of love for all mankind and especially Thai people and then he finished singing having dedicated a few to us and I was going to buy him a beer and have a chat when he just cleared off! Sue said he probably saw guys like me every night and probably just wanted to get home - I felt I really wanted to get to know him. I am so naive.

We had 9 bottles of Tiger beer and two curries for ten pounds, in a few weeks that will feel a real rip but at the moment it seems so cheap for beer drink and entertainment. Sue is asleep and I am just about awake. I must take some photos tomorrow and send them on. It is so hot. it must be 80 and it is 21.39 here. This year off has been so good so far, what a fantastic September and now it seems to be carrying on in the same vein.

We just walked by a stall offering certificates and diplomas for a knockdown price including Tefl!! How can they do that, after all we went through in Prague! Still they didn't get the fun I did, it was worth it just for the squirrel.

The airport at Bangkok is brand new and all our baggage arrived including the guitar (Alasdair and Greg) I am on the lookout for some more musicians. We took a taxi from the airport to the hostel and it came to just over 4 pounds! We aim to spend a couple of days here and then go to a beach somewhere. I am going to try and live in the present and not set any plans (apparently a famous guru that my Dad told me about has spent his whole life trying to get to the point where he can take in all that is going on NOW with no regrets about the past or plans for the future, I have 7 months!).

It's so good to be here I just wish you could all be here too, but then again I wouldn't meet anyone new, so no you guys stay just where you are so when I come back and I can come and say hello.

This email is costing me a baht a minute! 4 minutes to go and I am sure I had loads more to say but the time pressure is too much.

I don't think any of the girls in Thailand is above a size 4, Sue is going to ask for the XXL and I feel about 9 feet tall, I may never come home.

2 minutes to go, will email again soon.

I miss Prague, The Triangle and the family but that will wear off, there is a good band playing outside the hotel, see you.......

(I will add photos when I can)